The Greatest American Hero Quotes

Bill Maxwell: You get to be vice principal. Counselor... she's a junior partner. Yours truly, Dumbo Maxwell's chuggin' across the finish line... folks up in the gallery yellin' down Go, geezer! Go!

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero
Bill Maxwell: And so we went to NewFOUNDland to make friends with all the whales and a bunch of little fishies

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero
Pam Davidson: I wouldn't use that phone, Bill. The hospital may want you for a lobotomy.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero
Ralph Hinkley: Look at it this way, you're one step ahead of Lois Lane. She never found out who Clark Kent really was.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero
Ralph Hinkley: Oh, terrific. Now I can join a flea circus!

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero
[about a woman who said she saw a sea monster]
Bill Maxwell: She probably thought she saw what she said she thought she saw.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero
[about a woman who said she saw a sea monster]
Bill Maxwell: She probably thought she saw what she said she thought she saw.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Ralph Hinkley: Bill, are you OK? What's wrong with your knees?
Bill Maxwell: Fear. Or... I'm drunk.
Ralph Hinkley: No, you're not drunk.
Bill Maxwell: Then I'm alive! [laughs nervously]
Bill Maxwell: Thank you, Ralph. Thanks very much!

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Ralph Hinkley: Bill, I've got an idea
Bill Maxwell: Good, put it to me in a letter, I'll try to get back to you by the end of the month

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Ralph Hinkley: I mean I could kill the guy that designed this suit. Why couldn't it have... narrow lapels and a cutaway jacket? Why'd it have to be long johns and a cape?

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Ralph Hinkley: I'm not quitting my job. How am I supposed to eat? Go down to the welfare office and stand in the Superhero line?

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Ralph Hinkley: It's a bird. It's a plane. It's... [chuckles]
Ralph Hinkley: Ralph Hinkley.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Ralph Hinkley: Look at it this way, you're one step ahead of Lois Lane. She never found out who Clark Kent really was.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Ralph Hinkley: Pam Davidson, my attorney, this is Bill Maxwell. We're in the superhero business together.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Ralph Hinkley: Pamela I love you very much and... I would like us to be a real team.
Pam Davidson: [cries] Ralph, are you asking me to marry you?
Ralph Hinkley: Yes I am.
Pam Davidson: [cries, then nods happily] Yes.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Ralph Hinkley: You can't go because... WE'RE THE PACKAGE, BILL! Those little green guys they... they didn't pick us out by accident! We're supposed to do this as long as it takes. How many times have you told that to me?

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Ralph Hinkley: You see what I mean? Like right now for instance. You're not even listening to me. I mean, for all I know, we could be driving into the biggest shootout of this century
Bill Maxwell: [not listening] Yeah, kid. I'll work on that for ya

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Tony Villicana: Pick your friends carefully huh? Alright, so maybe I'll pick a friend.
Ralph Hinkley: Who ya gonna pick, Tony?
Tony Villicana: I'll pick you.
Ralph Hinkley: Hey, Tony, thank you. Thank you. I accept.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: And so we went to NewFOUNDland to make friends with all the whales and a bunch of little fishies

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: C'mon... You'll do it for Bill. Old Uncle Bill. Old Uncle Wild Bill. Who loves ya, baby? Eh?
Pam Davidson: You're over-doing it "Uncle Bill"

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: Freeze! F.B.I.! You're busted, fella!

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: If I'm not supposed to run this show, then why did our friends from the twilight zone put me aboard?
Pam Davidson: Comic relief?

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: If it's trouble you're looking for, you've just come across the West Coast distributor.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: OK, let's not panic.
Pam Davidson: I feel like panicking. I can panic if I want to panic.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: Ralph, you really did it to me didn't you? He did it, didn't he? You picked a skirt!
Pam Davidson: He picked a *woman*.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: She may be your girlfriend but she's my counselor and nobody messes with her. That's it.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: They give... and office like THIS to a kid... a GIRL? Come on now, counselor. I wasn't born yesterday.
Pam Davidson: No, it was more like 1880, wasn't it, Bill?
Bill Maxwell: That's very funny.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: This stinks. I hate this.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: You get to be vice principal. Counselor... she's a junior partner. Yours truly, Dumbo Maxwell's chuggin' across the finish line... folks up in the gallery yellin' down "Go, geezer! Go!"

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero

Bill Maxwell: You're about as religious as a Las Vegas nightclub owner.

TV Show: The Greatest American Hero