The Fast Show Quote
Lindsey: Right, day eight, part two. Lindsey here. I mean I was only havin' a laugh, I didn't know he'd get washed away. We've come down here to see if we can find him. No luck yet, but the rescue people'll get him. You rang 'em didn't you, Baz?
Baz: No, I thought you did.
Lindsey: Oh, er. Well, I was only havin' a laugh, he was wearing his life jacket anyway...
[Simon appears in the water and walks up behind Lindsey]...Well, you know, he's fat, he'll float. He's a good swimmer. You know, what more can I say?
[Simon stands behind Lindsey and picks up an axe]
Baz: Er, Lindsey? Lindsey?!
Lindsey: What can you do about it?
[Simon hits Lindsey in the head with the axe]
Simon: You bastard! You know I can't swim!
Lindsey: Ah, ah. What have you done to my head?! What have you done to my bloody head?! Baz, what's he done to my head?!
Baz: He's stuck an axe in it.
Lindsey: What?!
Simon: I've stuck an axe in it.
Lindsey: You stuck an axe in my head?!
Simon: Yeah.
Lindsey: What, through the hat?!
Simon: Yeah.
Lindsey: The famous hat!
Simon: Yeah, sorry mate.
Lindsey: You stuck an axe through the famous hat?!
Simon: Yeah.
Lindsey: What's it look like?
Simon: It looks quite good actually.
Lindsey: Yeah? Let's go down the pub then, shall we?
Simon: Yeah.
Lindsey: The hat. The hat. The famous...
[Lindsey collapses]
Baz: No, I thought you did.
Lindsey: Oh, er. Well, I was only havin' a laugh, he was wearing his life jacket anyway...
[Simon appears in the water and walks up behind Lindsey]...Well, you know, he's fat, he'll float. He's a good swimmer. You know, what more can I say?
[Simon stands behind Lindsey and picks up an axe]
Baz: Er, Lindsey? Lindsey?!
Lindsey: What can you do about it?
[Simon hits Lindsey in the head with the axe]
Simon: You bastard! You know I can't swim!
Lindsey: Ah, ah. What have you done to my head?! What have you done to my bloody head?! Baz, what's he done to my head?!
Baz: He's stuck an axe in it.
Lindsey: What?!
Simon: I've stuck an axe in it.
Lindsey: You stuck an axe in my head?!
Simon: Yeah.
Lindsey: What, through the hat?!
Simon: Yeah.
Lindsey: The famous hat!
Simon: Yeah, sorry mate.
Lindsey: You stuck an axe through the famous hat?!
Simon: Yeah.
Lindsey: What's it look like?
Simon: It looks quite good actually.
Lindsey: Yeah? Let's go down the pub then, shall we?
Simon: Yeah.
Lindsey: The hat. The hat. The famous...
[Lindsey collapses]
TV Show: The Fast Show
