The Court Jester Quotes

Hawkins: I was battered and bruised but the king was amused and before the siesta he made me his jester and I found out soon that to be a buffoon was a serious thing as a rule! For a jester's chief employment is to kill himself for your enjoyment, and a jester unemployed is nobody's fool!

Movie: The Court Jester
Hawkins: A jester unemployed is nobody's fool!

Movie: The Court Jester
King: Would you grant the king a little kiss?
Jean: Oh, certainly, sire, and don't worry. They say it isn't catching.
King: Oh, you are a little... catching?
Jean: Just because it runs in the family doesn't mean that everyone has it. Kiss me, sire!
King: Has it? Has what?
Jean: Don't I please you, sire?
King: Oh, yes, yes, but, eh, these brothers and cousins and uncles...
Jean: And aunts. But let us not talk about their swollen, twisted, pain ridden bodies. Hold me, take me in your arms, tell me I am yours!
King: But this, this uh writhing on the floor...
Jean: In agony.
King: How - how does one catch this thing?
Jean: Oh, the touch of a hand, the brush of a lip, but let us not spoil this moment!
King: What is this dreadful thing called?
Jean: Breckenridge's Scourge.
King: Who's Breckenridge.
Jean: My father!

Movie: The Court Jester
Princess Gwendolyn: Marry Griswold? Never!
King Roderick: What was that?
Princess Gwendolyn: He's a brute and a lout.
King Roderick: Brute or not, lout or not, if it pleases me you will marry Griswold.
Princess Gwendolyn: If it pleases you so much, you marry Griswold.

Movie: The Court Jester
Princess Gwendolyn: [to Griselda] Remember, if he dies, you die!

Movie: The Court Jester
[picking his weapon for the joust against Griswold]
Hubert Hawkins: I'll take one of those, one of those, ooh, a couple of those. [he pauses and glances over at Griswold]
Hubert Hawkins: I'd better take them all.

Movie: The Court Jester