The Colbert Report Quote

Stephen: [on his teleprompter being blank, thanks to the WGA strike] Jim, what the hell is going on? Where are my words?
Jimmy: We have no script, Stephen.
Stephen: Why not?
Jimmy: The writers are on strike.
Stephen: Yeah, I know that, Jim, I'm not a complete idiot. How does that affect me?
Jimmy: We have nothing to put in the prompter.
Stephen: That's not my understanding of how this works, Jim. My understanding is that this little, this little, uh, magic box right here, it reads my thoughts and then it lays them up on the screen right there in little words that I read and--that my audience can hear my--it's a labor saving device, Jim, that's--that's how I understand this works.
Jimmy: Well, no, actually it's what the writers put in.
Stephen: The writers. The guys on the fourth floor with the opium bongs playing Guitar Hero all day. You're telling me that those guys are responsible for what I say? I find that a bit of a stretch, Jim, I'm sorry. Get it fixed, and get it fixed now.

TV Show: The Colbert Report

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