The Cheap Detective Quotes

Jasper Blubber: The murderer is a Rumanian sailor by the name of Vladimir Tserijemiwtz.
Lou Peckinpaugh: Can you say that again?
Jasper Blubber: Not without spitting. - Well, sir, I have spent sixteen years, and every penny I have, sir, tracking this man down, and at last I have found him! He is here in San Francisco, just as sure as you're sitting there. He's changed his name by making an anagram out of his original name. Seven years I've tried to unscramble it, to no avail.

Movie: The Cheap Detective
Jezebel Dezire: Won't you join me in a little drinkie? What's your pleasure?
Lou Peckinpaugh: Uh, what you got there looks good.
Jezebel Dezire: I know... but I thought you'd like a little drink first.

Movie: The Cheap Detective
Lou Peckinpaugh: This signature's been tampered with. Your name isn't Denise Manderley, is it?
Mrs. Montenegro: No. It's Wanda Coleman.
Lou Peckinpaugh: Then why does your driver's license say Gilda Dabney?
Mrs. Montenegro: I believe my life is in danger; that's why I've taken so many precautions. My real name is... Chloe Lamar.
Lou Peckinpaugh: Well, thank you, Miss Lamar. I appreciate your honesty. Now can you tell me why you let yourself in with this passkey to search my office? What is it that you were looking for?
Mrs. Montenegro: Uh, to be perfectly frank, your bathroom.
Lou Peckinpaugh: I don't have any.
Mrs. Montenegro: Yes! I found that out a little too late...
Lou Peckinpaugh: All right, can we stop playing games now? It isn't Manderley, or Coleman, or Dabney, or even Lamar, is it? The initials on this handkerchief are A.P. - what does A.P. stand for?
Mrs. Montenegro: Alma Chalmers.
Lou Peckinpaugh: Chalmers begins with a C! This is a P!
Mrs. Montenegro: Palmers. Alma Palmers.
Lou Peckinpaugh: You give me the runaround one more time and I'm going to slap you around this office. I don't care what your name is any more. Just make one up, so I know what to call you!
Mrs. Montenegro: Vivian Purcell.
Lou Peckinpaugh: That's better.
Mrs. Montenegro: Armen Montenegro. That's my last one, I promise!

Movie: The Cheap Detective
Lou Peckinpaugh: Tell me nothing happened. Even if you lie, I'll believe you.
Betty DeBoop: Nothing happened.
Lou Peckinpaugh: It sounds worse than before.

Movie: The Cheap Detective
Marcel: Gentlemen, may I present Miss Betty DeBoop from the Islands?
Colonel Schlissel: Caribbean or Virgin?
Betty DeBoop: Well, let's just say I came back a Caribbean.

Movie: The Cheap Detective