The Cat in the Hat Quotes

[repeated line]
The Cat: Oh yeah!

Movie: The Cat in the Hat
Sally: You need to clean this mess up, pronto. We have a contract.
The Cat: Alright, I'll try.
Sally: [grabs the Cat in the Hat by his bowtie] You don't try, you do!

Movie: The Cat in the Hat
The Cat: [sinister voice] There is a third option! [Vaudeville keyboard music]
Sally: There is?
The Cat: Yes. It involves... murder! [More vaudeville keyboard music]
Conrad: That's your option?
The Cat: [normal voice] No. You guys both had options. I just wanted to have one too.
The Cat: [back to sinister] Or did I? [More vaudeville keyboard music]
Sally: Cat, you're not helping!

Movie: The Cat in the Hat
The Grinch: [describing his machine that messes up voices] This, sir, is my Acoustical Anti-Audio Bleeper, otherwise known as my Vacu-Sound Sweeper.
The Cat in the Hat: That? That's the darn thing that makes the sounds sound stupid?
The Grinch: It sucks out of the air every noise, every sound and gargles the sound waves for 50 miles 'round! Nifty little contraption, isn't it?
The Cat in the Hat: It's implausible, it's impossible, it's unreasonable and unlausible. Such things never happen in the middle of the day, and if they do, I ignore them, and they're bound to go away. [the Grinch activates his VacuSound Sweeper, gargling the Cat's dialog]
The Grinch: [laughing] From now on, you will hear what I want you to hear.

Movie: The Cat in the Hat
The Fish: Children, this cat is currently in violation of... seventeen of your mother's rules! [the phone rings, and The Cat answers it]
The Cat: City Morgue!
The Fish: [losing it] Eighteen!

Movie: The Cat in the Hat
The Cat in the Hat: That Grinch. That Grinch! That psychopathic Grinch! [pacing back and forth]
The Cat in the Hat: Why is a Grinch? What makes him tick? Why is his Grinch brain sick, sick, sick? Oh boy, if I had a psychiatrist couch, I'd find out what's wrong with that Grinchy grouch. [a thought bubble appears above the Cat. Inside the bubble, the Grinch is seen reclining on a psychiatrist couch]
The Grinch: [in bubble] That's a lot of rot.
The Cat in the Hat: [talking to Grinch in bubble; singsong voice] Is there something in your family tree that causes Grinch a leg onesy?
The Grinch: Absolutely not.
The Cat in the Hat: As a boy, were you never a good Boy Scout? Did you ever eat too much sauerkraut? Did your schoolteacher say that you were a fool? Did you dive in an empty swimming pool?
The Grinch: Positively not!
The Cat in the Hat: Did you fight a lot with your older sisters? Did you suffer from poison ivy blisters? The shoes that you wore, were they too tight? Were you afraid to go out in the dark at night? Did some big bully steal your kite? Your teeth, was there something wrong with your bite? Or maybe your mother didn't treat you right?
The Grinch: Mama? Absotively, posilutely, that's a lot of rot! [He reaches out of the bubble and grabs the Cat's hat. He pulls it down over him, hiding his face and most of his body. The thought bubble disappears]
The Cat in the Hat: [muffled] Hmm, one of the most difficult patients I ever had. I'm gonna have to make a house call.

Movie: The Cat in the Hat