The American Astronaut Quotes

Old Man: So this guy walks into a bar and he says to the bartender, Can I use your phone? The bartender says, Sure. So he wipes his ass on it and the bar - What? Ah, ****. I just told you the punchline. Been telling this joke so ****in' long, I knew I'd **** it up.

Movie: The American Astronaut
Old Man: Hey. Is it just me, or do my balls itch?
Samuel Curtis: I think it's you.
Old Man: Good. For a minute, I thought my balls itched.

Movie: The American Astronaut
Samuel Curtis: [Commenting on The Boy's odd attire] How long they been makin' you dress like that?
The Boy Who Actually Saw a Woman's Breast: The word is not "make," it's "let." They let me wear whatever I want.
Samuel Curtis: I see.

Movie: The American Astronaut