Tales from the Crypt Quotes

Cathy Marno: And you want some advice, Charlie? Eat a salad once in a while... and take a bath!

TV Show: Tales from the Crypt
Crypt Keeper: [looking into a mirror] Mirror, mirror, on the wall... who's the *fearest* of them all? [the mirror shatters and the Crypt Keeper cackles]
Crypt Keeper: Looks like I just bought 7 years' bad luck! Speaking of bad luck, it's time for another nasty little terror tale from my crawly collection... and this one's got a message, too. It's a story about greed, death and a girl, who learned that beauty... is Only Sin Deep! [laughs maniacally]

TV Show: Tales from the Crypt
Crypt Keeper: [after cutting someone's ear off with a pair of scissors] Shave and a haircut, two bits! [laughs hysterically]

TV Show: Tales from the Crypt
Ford: The bank's just up ahead, I know it.
Cutter: Ain't here, mate.
Ford: Well I don't remember askin' you, assbag! Maybe you should pay more attention to the pecking order around here, huh?.

TV Show: Tales from the Crypt
Lokai: Come on out, bitch. It's time to hula! You didn't really think you'd get away from me, did you?

TV Show: Tales from the Crypt
Roger: You'd stick your dick in a shrub if you thought there were a rodent in it!

TV Show: Tales from the Crypt