Simon and Simon Quotes

Adult Joe Wenteworth: When someone you love dies, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in pieces over time, like how the mail stops coming. What I remember most to this day was my mother's scent and how I hated it when it began to disappear. First from her closets, then from her dresses she had sewn herself and then finally from her bedsheets and pillow cases. Simon and I never talked much about that day on the baseball field. It was too painful for both of us. For as much as I loved my mother, I knew that Simon loved her just as much. She was the only real mother he ever had.

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Joe: I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.

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Simon Birch: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

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Simon: I said, what does coffee and donuts have to do with God?
Rev. Russell: They're merely refreshments so people can socialize and talk about up coming events.
Simon: Who ever said church needs a continental breakfast?

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[Hase is watching Simon shoveling food into his mouth]
Maximillian Hase: No, don't go, Buchholz, stay and watch Simon eat. It's... interesting.

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[Rick & A.J. are trying to talk Town into letting them look at a car in the police impound]
Rick Simon: Town, now this assignment you got, it's probably gonna be very tiring, right? And you could use a rest... well we're gonna be doing a big celebration when this is all over, y'know, we're gonna do a kind of a blow-out weekend over in Vegas... why don't you kinda tag along with us, y'know, we'll comp you to the Robert Goulet show... it'll be great.
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: Robert Goulet? If you're gonna bribe me, at least make it interesting. I'll give you half an hour.
Rick Simon: Barry Manilow.
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: 20 minutes.
A.J. Simon: Uh... Wayne Newton!
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: 10 minutes.

TV Show: Simon and Simon
[Rick & A.J. are trying to talk Town into letting them look at a car in the police impound]
Rick Simon: Town, now this assignment you got, it's probably gonna be very tiring, right? And you could use a rest... well we're gonna be doing a big celebration when this is all over, y'know, we're gonna do a kind of a blow-out weekend over in Vegas... why don't you kinda tag along with us, y'know, we'll comp you to the Robert Goulet show... it'll be great.
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: Robert Goulet? If you're gonna bribe me, at least make it interesting. I'll give you half an hour.
Rick Simon: Barry Manilow.
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: 20 minutes.
A.J. Simon: Uh... Wayne Newton!
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: 10 minutes.

TV Show: Simon and Simon
[Rick & A.J. seek a restraining order against an ex-con they helped put in jail]
A.J. Simon: Town, the guy is clearly here to make trouble, and he's carrying a grudge the size of the U.S.S. Enterprise.
Rick Simon: Tell him about the cantaloupe.
A.J. Simon: Oh, yes! Somebody broke into my house yesterday and sliced up a cantaloupe that I had in my refrigerator.
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: This *is* serious.
A.J. Simon: Town, we can take care of ourselves, but when it comes to threatening our mother, yes it is serious.
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: OK look, let's go over the evidence here. Now your mother invited this man into her house for a party and Rick jumped him, right?
Rick Simon: That's right.
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: Ah-ha. And you found some cut-up fruit in your refridgerator. Oh, I'll think of something.

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Rick Simon: [to nurse at Mental Hospital where he and AJ are being held by the villian] Take me to my brother or I'll do something Alfred Hitchcock never dreamed of.

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Rick Simon: Alright, let's put this thing into perspective. Now, correct if I'm wrong, OK? but this is how I got this thing figured. What we have here is a whole bunch of people with no money who go out and buy brand new cars just after they die. Is that pretty much the way you got it figured?
A.J. Simon: That's pretty much the way I've got it figured, yeah. And what, I ask myself, has Terry Hudson got to do with all of this?
Rick Simon: If he's dead, he probably just bought a new car.

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Brad Daniels: You look like a straight-ahead guy, I'll get right to the point. A contract has been taken out on my life.
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: Who took it out on you?
Brad Daniels: I did.
Lt. M.P. 'Downtown' Brown: What did you do to get into so much trouble with yourself?

TV Show: Simon and Simon