Sideways Quotes

Jack: [Miles walks in on Jack and Stephanie having sex] Not now! Not now!

Movie: Sideways
Jack: Somebody had to do the talking. And by the way, I was right. She's not married.
Miles Raymond: How do you know?
Jack: No rock. When she came to the bar, sans rock.

Movie: Sideways
Jack: You don't understand my plight.

Movie: Sideways
Jack: Speak for yourself. I get chicks lookin' at me all the time. All ages. Dudes too.
Miles Raymond: Well, it's not worth it. You pay too big a price. It's never free.
Jack: You need to get laid, Miles. You know what? That's going to be my best man gift to you this week. I'm gonna get you laid.
Miles Raymond: Wonderful.
Jack: I'm not gonna get you a gift certificate or a pen knife or any of that other horse ****.
Miles Raymond: I'd rather have a knife.

Movie: Sideways
Mike Erganian: What is the subject of your book? Non fiction?
Miles Raymond: Uh, no. It's... it's a novel. Fiction. Yes. Although there is quite a bit from my own life... so I suppose that, technically some of it is nonfiction.
Mike Erganian: Good I like non fiction. There is so much to know about this world. I think you read something somebody just invented, waste of time.
Miles Raymond: That's an interesting perspective.

Movie: Sideways
[talking about Maya and walking by a golfer and his son]
Jack: Don't you just want to feel that cozy little box grip down on your johnson?
Vacationing Dr. Walt Hendricks: Hey, you mind keeping it down, buddy?

Movie: Sideways