Saturday Night Live - The Best of Steve Martin Quotes

Bob: Tag team! Switch!
Jean Kirkpatrick: Congress of Vienna!
Miles Hoffner: 1962!
Jean Kirkpatrick: Pass! Um, Bolschivic Revolution!
Miles Hoffner: 1776!
Jean Kirkpatrick: Pass. Okay, Pilgrims land!
Miles Hoffner: 1861.
Jean Kirkpatrick: The Battle of Obstowich.
Miles Hoffner: 1492!
Jean Kirkpatrick: The Korean War!!
Miles Hoffner: 1917!
Bob: [Time up] Oh, sorry, Jean, you only got one right.
Jean Kirkpatrick: [Out of patience] Can I say something please? This program is an outrage! This program doesn't do justice to the educational system which holds the fragile civilization together!
Bob: Oh well sorry Jean! Les is still our champion but you'll be going home with a $400 and a year's subscription to TV Guide. TV Guide, the most widely read publication in the world.
Jean Kirkpatrick: In the United States!
Bob: Oh whatever you say! Anyway that's Common Knowledge and remember, it's not what you know, it's what you think you know. Good night everybody.

TV Show: Saturday Night Live - The Best of Steve Martin
David Spade: [on Steve Martin] Steve Martin. What about Leap of Faith? I was going to go see it but I was sick that day. [Steve Martin enters. Spade does not notice]
David Spade: He has blonde hair in it. Am I supposed to buy that? His hair has been grey since 1974. He's probably turned into one of those guys that doesn't wear a tie now. 'Hey, I'm Matt Dillon'. [Steve Martin taps him on shoulder]
David Spade: Not now, Kevin, I'm going here. [Notices it isn't Kevin Nealon that's grasping him]
Steve Martin: Thanks for the tip, Kevin. [to David]
Steve Martin: You wanna go now? David Spade; Yes, sir.
Steve Martin: [on David Spade] Hi there. I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers. It's called your Last Hollywood Minute. Deal with it!

TV Show: Saturday Night Live - The Best of Steve Martin