Saturday Night Live Quote

Bennett Brauer (Chris Farley): [making air quotes throughout] That's right, Bennett Brauer here with another commentary. Didn't think the suits would have me back, perhaps. Thought they'd have my derriere replaced by one of those cookie cutter store mannequins. Well, maybe I'm not "the norm". I'm not "camera friendly". I don't "wear clothes that fit me". I'm not a "heartbreaker". I haven't "had sex with a woman"; I don't know "how that works". I guess I don't "fall in line". I'm not "hygienic". I don't "wipe properly". I lack "style". I have no "charisma" or "self esteem". I don't "own a toothbrush" or "let my scabs heal". I can't "reach all the parts of my body". When I sleep, I "sweat profusely". But I guess the "powers that be" will keep signing my paycheck, at least until John and Jane Q. Viewer start to go for the remote so they can get back to watching commentators who don't "frighten children" and don't "eat their own dandruff" and don't "pop their white heads with a compass they used in high school."

TV Show: Saturday Night Live

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