Red vs. Blue Quote

Sarge: Hurry up ladies. This ain't no ice cream social!
Simmons: Ice cream social?
Sarge: Stop the pillow talk you two. Anyone want to guess why I gathered you here today?
Grif: Uhh...is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?
Sarge: [sarcastically] That's exactly it private, war's over, we won, turns out you're the big hero and we're going to hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, and Simmons here is in charge of confetti!
Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, Sir.
Sarge: God damn it private! Shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep.
Simmons: Oh I'd do it too.
Sarge: I know you would Simmons. Good man. Couple of things today, ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.
Grif: Crap, we're getting a rookie.
Sarge: That's right, dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week, but today we received the first part of our shipment from Command. Lopez, bring up the vehicle.
[Lopez drives up in a new jeep]
Simmons: Shotgun.
Grif: Shotgun... Fuck!
Sarge: May I introduce, our new Light-Reconnaissance vehicle. (Rotating around the new jeep) It has 4-inch Armor Plating; M.A.G. Bumper Suspension; a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen! This is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the 'Warthog'.
Simmons: Why 'Warthog,' Sir?
Sarge: Because 'M12 LRV' is too hard to say in conversation, son.
Grif: No, but, why 'Warthog'? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig...
Sarge: Say that again?
Grif: I think it looks more like a Puma.
Sarge: What in Sam Hell is a 'Puma'?
Simmons: Uhh, you mean like the shoe company?
Gr

TV Show: Red vs. Blue

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