Number One with a Bullet Quotes

Det. Barzak: What the **** is that ****?
Det. Hazeltine: Yogurt, yeast paste, lecithin; all the things you ought to be eating. Want some?
Det. Barzak: No way, man. I'm on a low-mucous diet - you know that.
Det. Hazeltine: Yeah.
Det. Barzak: I been thinking, Frank.
Det. Hazeltine: It's DeCosta again, isnt' it?
Det. Barzak: No, Frank. It's not about DeCosta again. I think we ought to go after the guys that hit Boudreaux. I figure they're local.
Det. Hazeltine: Yeah, how do you figure that?
Det. Barzak: 'Cause they're workin' for DeCosta.
Det. Hazeltine: There's that name again...
Det. Barzak: Look, Frank: they made us look REAL bad. The entire squad thinks we're screw-ups.
Det. Hazeltine: So now, you wanna screw up real big and remove all doubt. Right?
Det. Barzak: No, I don't wanna do that. I'm just an agile guy, Frank. I can get my foot it my mouth; I can even work with my nose to the grindstone. But my ass doesn't fit under a desk - neither does yours.
Det. Hazeltine: No! No! No!

Movie: Number One with a Bullet
Det. Hazeltine: You are a very sick man. You know that?
Det. Barzak: Yea-a-a-h!

Movie: Number One with a Bullet
Det. Hazeltine: So DeCosta represents your father, and you scarf all of this junk food to fulfill an oral longing for your mother's breasts, which incidentally are 70% fat.
Det. Barzak: Oh, that's great, Frank. First, you ruin food for me; now you gotta ruin tits.

Movie: Number One with a Bullet
Det. Barzak: You're new around here. What's your name?
Malcolm: Malcolm.
Det. Barzak: Malcolm?
Malcolm: Yeah. What are you - welcome wagon?
Det. Barzak: Yeah. I've seen you oozing around the street. What is your scam?
Malcolm: Who me? Uh, I sell Amway products. Ha ha...
Det. Barzak: Yeah, ha ha. I catch you dealing any soap flakes in this neighborhood, I will cripple you.
Malcolm: I ain't afraid of no jive-ass cop, man. I KNOW my rights. [turns to leave]
Det. Barzak: [puts him in a painful wrist lock] Malcolm: I am NOT your normal jive-ass cop, all right? And around here, you GOT no rights!
Malcolm: Oww! You must be 'Berzerk'!
Det. Barzak: You don't know the half of it, baby. [throws him into a garbage pile]
Malcolm: [grunting in pain & cluthching his wrist] Aah...
Det. Barzak: Hey! Malcolm: have a nice day.

Movie: Number One with a Bullet