Night Court Quotes

Bull Shannon: [approaches the cafeteria table where everyone is sitting. He is wearing boxers and a t-shirt] Hi, guys.
Harry Stone: Bull?
Bull Shannon: Oh, don't worry, Your Honor. I'm just having one of those dreams where you show up to work in your underwear.
Harry Stone: Bull, this isn't a dream.
Bull Shannon: It's not? [everyone shakes there heads]
Bull Shannon: Yikes! [Bull runs out]

TV Show: Night Court
Christine: [drunk] Buddy! Harry! I've gotta go! I've gotta stop him! [She rushes to the door, and crashes into it]
Buddy Ryan: I used to do that a lot. But I'm feeling much better now!

TV Show: Night Court
Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: [Mac needs help identifying sex toys] Hey Dan, you know this stuff?
Dan Fielding: [big smile] Like the palm of my hand.

TV Show: Night Court
Harry Stone: [defendants are on trial for book burning] I feel it's my responsibility to set an example by fining radical extremists like this with every ounce of power that this state has seen fit to grant me!
Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: [reads the title of a salvaged book] "The Genius of Barry Manilow."
Harry Stone: [bangs gavel] One dollar!

TV Show: Night Court
[At his job interview, Dan finds that the hiring partner only wants him for an office gigolo]
Dan Fielding: You think you can call me in here, play your little bedroom games, take shots at my manhood? That's fine! I get that all the time! All right, maybe I wasn't able to afford some snooty Ivy League education. But let me tell you something. When you get your degree from the Bayou Academy of Law & Agriculture, you learn something else: a fighting sow-belly has to WORK for what he wants! Can't be afraid to get your snout dirty! You know, I live the law every day. In the courts and the jails of New York City. And I may have barf in my cuffs when I come home at night. But that's the way I like it. [building]
Dan Fielding: That's why I have the highest conviction rate of any DA in this city. And that's why I have the lowest percentage of overturned cases! And that's why you can say anything you want to about my manhood, but nobody, lady - NOBODY - can touch Dan Fielding in a court of law. [throws off his jacket]
Dan Fielding: Or for that matter, anywhere else!
Toni Corbin: You mean...?
Dan Fielding: [yanks off his tie] I mean, hold on to your Dixie Cups, babes! THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!

TV Show: Night Court
[on trial are a group of beauty contestants who attacked their sneaky pageant coordinator]
Dan Fielding: Your Honor, according to witnesses, Miss Congeniality led the attack with a kick to the groin.

TV Show: Night Court