My Cousin Vinny Quotes
Vinny Gambini: [answering the phone] Hello?
D.A. Jim Trotter: [into the phone] You did good out there today, Yankee. I like the competition. You like competition, too? Makes things kinds fun, doesn't it?
Vinny Gambini: I'm enjoying myself so far.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Well, I got a little surprise for you tomorrow.
Vinny Gambini: What is it? You know you have to disclose all of your evidence to me before presenting it at trial.
D.A. Jim Trotter: I just got it myself tonight. I'll disclose it first thing in the morning. The Judge is gonna have to admit it.
Vinny Gambini: Should I be worried?
D.A. Jim Trotter: I sure would be if I were you. [hangs up]
Vinny Gambini: [to Lisa] Hey, Honey. Where'd you read about all that disclosure shit?
Mona Lisa Vito: Here, let me show ya. Why?
D.A. Jim Trotter: [into the phone] You did good out there today, Yankee. I like the competition. You like competition, too? Makes things kinds fun, doesn't it?
Vinny Gambini: I'm enjoying myself so far.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Well, I got a little surprise for you tomorrow.
Vinny Gambini: What is it? You know you have to disclose all of your evidence to me before presenting it at trial.
D.A. Jim Trotter: I just got it myself tonight. I'll disclose it first thing in the morning. The Judge is gonna have to admit it.
Vinny Gambini: Should I be worried?
D.A. Jim Trotter: I sure would be if I were you. [hangs up]
Vinny Gambini: [to Lisa] Hey, Honey. Where'd you read about all that disclosure shit?
Mona Lisa Vito: Here, let me show ya. Why?
Movie: My Cousin Vinny
Vinny Gambini: Look, maybe I could have handled the preliminary a little better, okay? I admit it. But what's most important is winning the case. I could do it. I really could. Let me tell you how, okay? The D.A.'s got to build a case. Building a case is like building a house. Each piece of evidence is just another building block. He wants to make a brick bunker of a building. He wants to use serious, solid-looking bricks, like, like these, right? [puts his hand on the wall]
Bill: Right.
Vinny Gambini: Let me show you something. [he holds up a playing card, with the face toward Billy]
Vinny Gambini: He's going to show you the bricks. He'll show you they got straight sides. He'll show you how they got the right shape. He'll show them to you in a very special way, so that they appear to have everything a brick should have. But there's one thing he's not gonna show you. [turns the card, so that its edge is toward Billy]
Vinny Gambini: When you look at the bricks from the right angle, they're as thin as this playing card. His whole case is an illusion, a magic trick. It has to be an illusion, 'cause you're innocent. Nobody - I mean nobody - pulls the wool over the eyes of a Gambini, especially this one. Give me a chance, one chance. Let me question the first witness. If after that point, you don't think that I'm the best man for the job, fire me then and there. I'll leave quietly, no grudges. All I ask is for that one chance. I think you should give it to me.
Bill: Right.
Vinny Gambini: Let me show you something. [he holds up a playing card, with the face toward Billy]
Vinny Gambini: He's going to show you the bricks. He'll show you they got straight sides. He'll show you how they got the right shape. He'll show them to you in a very special way, so that they appear to have everything a brick should have. But there's one thing he's not gonna show you. [turns the card, so that its edge is toward Billy]
Vinny Gambini: When you look at the bricks from the right angle, they're as thin as this playing card. His whole case is an illusion, a magic trick. It has to be an illusion, 'cause you're innocent. Nobody - I mean nobody - pulls the wool over the eyes of a Gambini, especially this one. Give me a chance, one chance. Let me question the first witness. If after that point, you don't think that I'm the best man for the job, fire me then and there. I'll leave quietly, no grudges. All I ask is for that one chance. I think you should give it to me.
Movie: My Cousin Vinny
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, it has been argued by me, the defense, that two sets of guys met up at the Sac-O-Suds, at the same time, driving identical metallic mint green 1964 Buick Skylark convertibles. Now, can you tell us by what you see in this picture, if the defense's case holds water? [Lisa examines the picture]
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, please answer the question: does the defense's case hold water?
Mona Lisa Vito: No! The defense is wrong!
Vinny Gambini: Are you sure?
Mona Lisa Vito: I'm positive.
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, please answer the question: does the defense's case hold water?
Mona Lisa Vito: No! The defense is wrong!
Vinny Gambini: Are you sure?
Mona Lisa Vito: I'm positive.
Movie: My Cousin Vinny
Vinny Gambini: ...So, it's either wear the leather jacket, which I know you hate... or this. So, I wore this ridiculous thing for you.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Are you on drugs?
Vinny Gambini: No. I don't do drugs.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: I don't like your attitude.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Are you on drugs?
Vinny Gambini: No. I don't do drugs.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: I don't like your attitude.
Movie: My Cousin Vinny
Vinny Gambini: Mrs. Riley, when you saw the defendants were you wearing your glasses?
Constance Riley: Yes, I was.
Vinny Gambini: Would you mind putting your glasses on for us, please? [Stumbles a bit from Mrs. Riley's glasses]
Vinny Gambini: Whoa. How long you been wearing glasses?
Constance Riley: Since I was 6.
Vinny Gambini: Have they always been that thick.
Constance Riley: No. They've gotten thicker over the years.
Vinny Gambini: So, as your eyes become more and more out of whack, as you've gotten older, how many levels of thickness have you gone through?
Constance Riley: I don't know, over 60 years, maybe 10 times.
Vinny Gambini: Maybe you're ready for a thicker set.
Constance Riley: Oh no. I think they're okay.
Vinny Gambini: You sure? Let's check it out. [Grabs a tape measure from his deak and brings it over to Mrs. Riley]
Vinny Gambini: How far away were the defendants when when you saw them enterin' the Sac-o-Suds?
Constance Riley: About 100 feet.
Vinny Gambini: A hundred feet. [Hands Mrs. Riley the end of the tape measure]
Vinny Gambini: Would you mind holding this, please? [Goes to the courtroom door]
Vinny Gambini: All right, this is 50 feet, that's half the distance. [Holds up 2 fingers on his right hand]
Vinny Gambini: How many fingers am I holding up? [Mrs. Riley is squinting, trying to see the fingers]
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Let the record know that the counsler is holding up 2 fingers.
Constance Riley: Yes, I was.
Vinny Gambini: Would you mind putting your glasses on for us, please? [Stumbles a bit from Mrs. Riley's glasses]
Vinny Gambini: Whoa. How long you been wearing glasses?
Constance Riley: Since I was 6.
Vinny Gambini: Have they always been that thick.
Constance Riley: No. They've gotten thicker over the years.
Vinny Gambini: So, as your eyes become more and more out of whack, as you've gotten older, how many levels of thickness have you gone through?
Constance Riley: I don't know, over 60 years, maybe 10 times.
Vinny Gambini: Maybe you're ready for a thicker set.
Constance Riley: Oh no. I think they're okay.
Vinny Gambini: You sure? Let's check it out. [Grabs a tape measure from his deak and brings it over to Mrs. Riley]
Vinny Gambini: How far away were the defendants when when you saw them enterin' the Sac-o-Suds?
Constance Riley: About 100 feet.
Vinny Gambini: A hundred feet. [Hands Mrs. Riley the end of the tape measure]
Vinny Gambini: Would you mind holding this, please? [Goes to the courtroom door]
Vinny Gambini: All right, this is 50 feet, that's half the distance. [Holds up 2 fingers on his right hand]
Vinny Gambini: How many fingers am I holding up? [Mrs. Riley is squinting, trying to see the fingers]
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Let the record know that the counsler is holding up 2 fingers.
Movie: My Cousin Vinny
[Trotter asks Vinny how he became a lawyer]
Vinny Gambini: Well, I got a bullshit traffic ticket. I went to court, I got the cop on the stand, and I argued with him until he admitted he was wrong. And the judge, this Judge Malloy. All the while he's laughing and smiling. And then afterwards, he asks me to go to lunch with him. Then he says to me, "you know what? You'd be a good litigator." I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, I don't know what a litigator is. I never thought of becoming a lawyer. But this Judge Malloy, who's from Brooklyn, too? He did it, so all of a sudden, it seemed possible. So I went to law school.
Vinny Gambini: Well, I got a bullshit traffic ticket. I went to court, I got the cop on the stand, and I argued with him until he admitted he was wrong. And the judge, this Judge Malloy. All the while he's laughing and smiling. And then afterwards, he asks me to go to lunch with him. Then he says to me, "you know what? You'd be a good litigator." I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, I don't know what a litigator is. I never thought of becoming a lawyer. But this Judge Malloy, who's from Brooklyn, too? He did it, so all of a sudden, it seemed possible. So I went to law school.
Movie: My Cousin Vinny