Muppets Tonight Quote

[Jason Alexander as Hercule Poirot in Murder on the Disoriented Express]
Mr. Poodlepants: Help, help! I've been murderized!
Kermit: Oh, no! Oh, my goodness! Someone has killed Mr. Poodlepants! [...] There's only one detective who can solve this crime, and he's on board our train, folks! Ladies and gentleman, I present Monsieur Hercules Poirot!
Hercule Poirot: [French accent] Everyone, please take your seats. Nobody move! Please be seated. Touch nothing! Sit, sit, sit. And, er, by the way, it is not Hercules, it is Hercule, Mm, mm. Now, I would like to begin my investigation, by asking a few questions.
Bobo: Oh, er, I have a question there, Hercules. Er, are you gonna use your superstrength to lift up the train and shake out the clues?
Hercule Poirot: Now, listen carefully. You are thinking of Hercules, an ancient demigod from Greek mythology. I am Hercule Poirot, a fictional Belgian detective.
Fozzy: But, but how do you hide your rippling muscles under that puny little waist coat.
Hercule Poirot: I do not think it is possible to overemphasize what I am about to say. I am not Hercules.
Fozzy: Oh, I get it. He's working under cover.
Bobo: Shht. Don't get him mad. He'll rip up the train tracks and tie em around your neck.
Hercule Poirot: Yes. I might, if I was Hercules, which I am not. Now, if I may proceed with my investigation.
Bunsen: Yes, yes, yes, please everyone, let him proceed with his investigation. [...] What are you going to do first? Fly around the earth backwards, so you can reverse time and discover who really did it?
Hercule Poirot: [Normal voice] Allright, first of all, I am not Hercules. Second of all, you are thinking of Superman, and not Hercules. And third of all, you canno

TV Show: Muppets Tonight

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