Mock the Week Quote
Hugh Dennis: Dear Deidre, I have recently become obsessed with a woman and began stalking her. Look out of the window.
Andy Parsons: My partner won't give me oral sex, which is really annoying, because that's the only reason I formed a coalition with him in the first place.
Milton Jones: My wife says I don't feel anything, which is a problem, cause there was something else... oh, yes, I'm on fire.
Micky Flanagan: I'm 26, my girlfriend's 36. Is 10 years too big an age gap? Cause her daughter's 16, she's a right little sauce.
Hugh Dennis: I have recently met a woman who makes me feel young again. She's 167.
Alun Cochrane: Dear Deidre, I'm from Nigeria and I'm fed up of Nicky Flanagan mocking my accent!
Zoe Lyons: Dear Auntie, I'm a nervous person and sudden noises really startle me. In fact, even if I hear a buzzer, a bit of wee comes out. (buzz)
Andy Parsons: My mates are getting into drugs, but I don't know what to do. Should I charge them the mates rate or just normal prices?
Milton Jones: Dear Deidre, I am a control freak. What should I do? I'll tell you what I should do.
Hugh Dennis: I am 96, but I am convinced young women fancy me. Do I have penile dementia?
Micky Flanagan: I've been wearing a cabbage sheet for a long time, but I can't get any cheese!
Andy Parsons: I am a man trapped inside the body of a woman. Could you tell us please how to get out of position 43 of the Kama Sutra?
Alun Cochrane: I work in the public sector, and I'm really, really, really, really worried aobut my pension!
Andy Parsons: My partner won't give me oral sex, which is really annoying, because that's the only reason I formed a coalition with him in the first place.
Milton Jones: My wife says I don't feel anything, which is a problem, cause there was something else... oh, yes, I'm on fire.
Micky Flanagan: I'm 26, my girlfriend's 36. Is 10 years too big an age gap? Cause her daughter's 16, she's a right little sauce.
Hugh Dennis: I have recently met a woman who makes me feel young again. She's 167.
Alun Cochrane: Dear Deidre, I'm from Nigeria and I'm fed up of Nicky Flanagan mocking my accent!
Zoe Lyons: Dear Auntie, I'm a nervous person and sudden noises really startle me. In fact, even if I hear a buzzer, a bit of wee comes out. (buzz)
Andy Parsons: My mates are getting into drugs, but I don't know what to do. Should I charge them the mates rate or just normal prices?
Milton Jones: Dear Deidre, I am a control freak. What should I do? I'll tell you what I should do.
Hugh Dennis: I am 96, but I am convinced young women fancy me. Do I have penile dementia?
Micky Flanagan: I've been wearing a cabbage sheet for a long time, but I can't get any cheese!
Andy Parsons: I am a man trapped inside the body of a woman. Could you tell us please how to get out of position 43 of the Kama Sutra?
Alun Cochrane: I work in the public sector, and I'm really, really, really, really worried aobut my pension!
TV Show: Mock the Week
