Me, Myself and Irene Quotes

Hank Evans: What the hell are you still doing here?
Charlie Baileygates: You can't just throw me away, Hank, we're in this together.

Movie: Me, Myself and Irene
[after Hank crashes the guy's car into his shop]
Hank Evans: There ya go, buddy. I parked it for ya. And by the way, you got a headlight out. [Puts ticket on the windshield]

Movie: Me, Myself and Irene
Hank Evans: Listen, Pocahontas, unless you put your ear to the ground, you'll never hear the buffalo comin'!
Irene P. Waters: Ok, look, I don't know what that means!

Movie: Me, Myself and Irene
Hank Evans: So, what's your tale, Mother Goose? Where ya from?
Irene P. Waters: Oh, all over.
Hank Evans: Omnipresence. I like that in a woman.

Movie: Me, Myself and Irene
Irene P. Waters: Could we maybe get Charlie back out here for a huddle?
Hank Evans: Sure, and while I'm at it, why don't you go climb that telephone pole and take a big steamy piss on the power lines! Look, I'm not here to twist your niblets. I'm here to save your life. But to do that, I'm going to need complete uninanonomonitity.

Movie: Me, Myself and Irene
[Charlie takes his medication at the Massena Police Station]
Irene P. Waters: What are those for?
Charlie Baileygates: Oh! It's just this stupid thing. I have to take a pill every six hours or I feel... funny. No big deal.
Irene P. Waters: What's it called?
Charlie Baileygates: Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage.

Movie: Me, Myself and Irene