Martin Quotes
Barbara Feldon: It's not the hawks and doves that I'm worried about... it's those cuckoos in Washington that want to make pigeons out of all of us.
TV Show: Martin
Dr. Martin Ellingham: For the record, unless you're incapacitated you should come in to the surgery.
Stewart James: I can't really leave here during the day.
Dr. Martin Ellingham: Let's hope you don't need a doctor then.
Stewart James: So it's true.
Dr. Martin Ellingham: It's true I don't appreciate having my time wasted if that's what you mean.
Stewart James: A man of your talent. Famously sharp mind. Portwenn must come as a bit of a shock. I bet half the village came in when you opened up just to see what you'd done with the place.
Dr. Martin Ellingham: They did.
Stewart James: Then there's the agressive unhelpfulness of that receptionist, oh what's her name?
Dr. Martin Ellingham: Elaine?
Stewart James: Yeah Elaine. And those girls. Those girls that just hang around giggling all the time.
Dr. Martin Ellingham: You're very perceptive.
Stewart James: I can't really leave here during the day.
Dr. Martin Ellingham: Let's hope you don't need a doctor then.
Stewart James: So it's true.
Dr. Martin Ellingham: It's true I don't appreciate having my time wasted if that's what you mean.
Stewart James: A man of your talent. Famously sharp mind. Portwenn must come as a bit of a shock. I bet half the village came in when you opened up just to see what you'd done with the place.
Dr. Martin Ellingham: They did.
Stewart James: Then there's the agressive unhelpfulness of that receptionist, oh what's her name?
Dr. Martin Ellingham: Elaine?
Stewart James: Yeah Elaine. And those girls. Those girls that just hang around giggling all the time.
Dr. Martin Ellingham: You're very perceptive.
TV Show: Martin
Milton Berle: [Referring to Frank Sinatra] Most of Frank's pals couldn't be here tonight. Half of them couldn't find time, the other half are *doing* it!
TV Show: Martin
[repeated line]
Judy Carne: It's not fair. [after getting doused with a bucket of water]
Judy Carne: It's not fair. [after getting doused with a bucket of water]
TV Show: Martin
[repeated line]
Dan Rowan: Hey, next week have we got a show...
Dick Martin: I'd like to say something my mother once said.
Dan Rowan: Hey, next week have we got a show...
Dick Martin: I'd like to say something my mother once said.
TV Show: Martin
[At haunted house, a howling sound is made from the background]
Martin: That's just Pam, letting us know she's alright.
Martin: That's just Pam, letting us know she's alright.
TV Show: Martin
[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog: Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin: What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
Maddog: Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin: What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
TV Show: Martin
[leaving a message]
Cole: Mom, I don't like it here. I wanna come home and my place is wack! See you later. Oh, and by the way, this is your son, Cole.
Cole: Mom, I don't like it here. I wanna come home and my place is wack! See you later. Oh, and by the way, this is your son, Cole.
TV Show: Martin
[leaving message on answering machine]
Cole: Mom, I wanna come back. I'm lonely and my place is wack. Oh, and if you get this message, it's me, Cole.
Cole: Mom, I wanna come back. I'm lonely and my place is wack. Oh, and if you get this message, it's me, Cole.
TV Show: Martin
[Martin has insulted Pam during a toast to her marriage]
Gina: Martin, stop it!
Pam: Nah, nah, it's ok Gina. I mean, Martin did climb all the way down from that wedding cake to make this toast.
Gina: Martin, stop it!
Pam: Nah, nah, it's ok Gina. I mean, Martin did climb all the way down from that wedding cake to make this toast.
TV Show: Martin
[repeated line]
Jerome: [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
Jerome: [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
TV Show: Martin
[repeated line]
Brother Man: I'm Bruh-Man. [holds up four fingers]
Brother Man: From the fifth flo'
Brother Man: I'm Bruh-Man. [holds up four fingers]
Brother Man: From the fifth flo'
TV Show: Martin
[the gang thinks Tommy is rushing into marriage]
Gina: This is ridiculous! How's Tommy gonna marry someone he just met?
Shanise: At a church, Gina. Duuuh!
Gina: This is ridiculous! How's Tommy gonna marry someone he just met?
Shanise: At a church, Gina. Duuuh!
TV Show: Martin
[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them in regards to some beef]
Martin: [ready to rumble] Tommy, you alright? Want me to come with you?
Tommy: Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes? [laughs hysterically]
Martin: [ready to rumble] Tommy, you alright? Want me to come with you?
Tommy: Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes? [laughs hysterically]
TV Show: Martin
Mama Payne: Every move you make, every breath [sniffs]
Mama Payne: you take... I'll be watching you!
TV Show: Martin
Mama Payne: Oh don't play dumb with me Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too much head to be stupid! You didn't even invite me to the wedding! I'm still pissed about that... Thin Thighs!
TV Show: Martin
Mama Payne: Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love: If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
TV Show: Martin
Martin: [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gotta go outside to change your mind!
TV Show: Martin
Martin: Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man: Nothin' [pause]
Brother Man: just chillin'.
TV Show: Martin
Martin: Cole, do me a favor.
Cole: What's up?
Martin: Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole: [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin: Ummm... how 'bout 6: 43?
Cole: I'm busy at 6: 43... but I'm free at 6: 44 though.
Martin: Oh, alright. Then at 6: 44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
TV Show: Martin
Martin: Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole: [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
TV Show: Martin
Martin: Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don't even call me!
TV Show: Martin