Mallrats Quotes

Brodie: Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.

Movie: Mallrats
Jay: Silent Bob stole the schematics from some foolish carpenter and found a weakness just like the ****ing Death Star. You knock this crossbeam out and, ****in' bickety-bam, the whole stage comes crashing down.
Brodie: Well we were thinking of something simple, but hey, if you want to destroy the stage, we're all for that.

Movie: Mallrats
Jay: Silent Bob here's an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using some chicken wire and ****.The mother ****er's like MacGyver. No, the mother ****er's *better than* MacGyver.

Movie: Mallrats
[Brodie introduces Tricia to T.S]
Brodie: T.S. Quint, meet Tricia Jones. They call her Trish the dish.
Tricia Jones: Nobody calls me that.

Movie: Mallrats
[Jay explains the details of Operation Drive By to Silent Bob]
Jay: First you take a run at La Fours with a sock full of quarters. I'd do it, but I pulled my back at humping your mom last night. Neetch. Okay, you clock him on his headpiece and knock his ass out cold. That's when phase two kicks in. I attack the structure Wolvie Berzerk style, and knock out the ****in' pin and bickety bam, the mother****er is rubble. Hence, no game show.

Movie: Mallrats
[to T.S]
Brodie: You're gonna listen to me? To something I said? Hasn't it become abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know ****?

Movie: Mallrats