Magnolia Quotes
Clairee: Ouiser, you sound almost chipper. What happened today - you run over a small child or something?
Movie: Magnolia
Jim Kurring: Oh, Lord, why is this happening to me? God, please help me figure this out. I'm lost out here! I don't understand why it's happening. God, please, God! [sirens]
Jim Kurring: Whatever it is I did, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to do the right thing. Please, help me find the gun! I... [points his flashlight at the camera as the sirens get louder]
Jim Kurring: Whatever it is I did, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to do the right thing. Please, help me find the gun! I... [points his flashlight at the camera as the sirens get louder]
Movie: Magnolia
Jim Kurring: Now calm yourself down.
Marcie: [shouts] I am calm!
Jim Kurring: No you are not calm. You're screaming at me. Do you understand? I got a call for disturbance, and I'm going to checking it out. That is what I'm going to do. Are you alone in here?
Marcie: I ain't got to answer none of your questions.
Jim Kurring: No, you don't, but I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you alone in here?
Marcie: What does it look like?
Jim Kurring: There's no one else in here?
Marcie: You in here.
Jim Kurring: That's true, but is there anyone else besides me and you in this house?
Marcie: No, I said that already.
Jim Kurring: Are you lying to me?
Marcie: I live by myself.
Jim Kurring: That might be true, but the question I'm asking you, ma'am: is there anyone else in this house right now?
Marcie: No.
Marcie: [shouts] I am calm!
Jim Kurring: No you are not calm. You're screaming at me. Do you understand? I got a call for disturbance, and I'm going to checking it out. That is what I'm going to do. Are you alone in here?
Marcie: I ain't got to answer none of your questions.
Jim Kurring: No, you don't, but I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you alone in here?
Marcie: What does it look like?
Jim Kurring: There's no one else in here?
Marcie: You in here.
Jim Kurring: That's true, but is there anyone else besides me and you in this house?
Marcie: No, I said that already.
Jim Kurring: Are you lying to me?
Marcie: I live by myself.
Jim Kurring: That might be true, but the question I'm asking you, ma'am: is there anyone else in this house right now?
Marcie: No.
Movie: Magnolia
M'Lynn: I find it amusing. Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something. I just sat there. I just held Shelby's hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh god. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life.
Movie: Magnolia
[ singing along to Aimee Mann's "Wise Up" ]
Claudia Wilson Gator : It's not / What you thought / When you first began it / You got / What you want / Now you can hardly stand it though / By now you know / It's not going to stop
Jim Kurring : It's not going to stop / It's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up
Jimmy Gator : You're sure / There's a cure / And you have finally found it
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : You think / One drink / Will shrink you 'til you're underground / And living down / But it's not going to stop
Phil Parma : It's not going to stop
Earl Partridge : It's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up
Linda Partridge : Prepare a list for what you need / Before you sign away the deed / 'Cause it's not going to stop
Frank T.J. Mackey : It's not going to stop / It's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up / No, it's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up / No, it's not going to stop
Stanley Spector : So just... give up
Claudia Wilson Gator : It's not / What you thought / When you first began it / You got / What you want / Now you can hardly stand it though / By now you know / It's not going to stop
Jim Kurring : It's not going to stop / It's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up
Jimmy Gator : You're sure / There's a cure / And you have finally found it
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : You think / One drink / Will shrink you 'til you're underground / And living down / But it's not going to stop
Phil Parma : It's not going to stop
Earl Partridge : It's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up
Linda Partridge : Prepare a list for what you need / Before you sign away the deed / 'Cause it's not going to stop
Frank T.J. Mackey : It's not going to stop / It's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up / No, it's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up / No, it's not going to stop
Stanley Spector : So just... give up
Movie: Magnolia
Narrator : And there is the account of the hanging of three men, and a scuba diver, and a suicide. There are stories of coincidence and chance, of intersections and strange things told, and which is which and who only knows? And we generally say, "Well, if that was in a movie, I wouldn't believe it." Someone's so-and-so met someone else's so-and-so and so on. And it is in the humble opinion of this narrator that strange things happen all the time. And so it goes, and so it goes. And the book says, "We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."
Movie: Magnolia
[ first lines ]
Narrator : In the New York Herald, November 26, year 1911, there is an account of the hanging of three men. They died for the murder of Sir Edmund William Godfrey; Husband, Father, Pharmacist and all around gentle-man resident of: Greenberry Hill, London. He was murdered by three vagrants whose motive was simple robbery. They were identified as: Joseph Green, Stanley Berry, and Daniel Hill. Green, Berry, Hill. And I Would Like To Think This was Only A Matter Of Chance. As reported in the Reno Gazette, June of 1983 there is the story of a fire, the water that it took to contain the fire, and a scuba diver named Delmer Darion. Employee of the Peppermill Hotel and Casino, Reno, Nevada. Engaged as a blackjack dealer. Well liked and well regarded as a physical, recreational and sporting sort, Delmer's true passion was for the lake. As reported by the coroner, Delmer died of a heart attack somewhere between the lake and the tree. A most curious side note is the suicide the next day of Craig Hansen. Volunteer firefighter, estranged father of four and a poor tendency to drink. Mr. Hansen was the pilot of the plane that quite accidentally lifted Delmer Darion out of the water. Added to this, Mr. Hansen's tortured life met before with Delmer Darion just two nights previous. The weight of the guilt and the measure of coincidence so large, Craig Hansen took his life. And I Am Trying To Think This Was All Only A Matter Of Chance. The tale told at a 1961 awards dinner for the American Association Of Forensic Science by Dr. Donald Harper, president of the association, began with a simple suicide attempt. Seventeen-year-old Sydney Barringer. In the city of Los Angeles on March 23, 1958. The coroner ruled that the unsuccessful suicide had suddenly become a successful homicide. To explain: The suicide was confirmed by a note, left in the breast pocket of Sydney Barringer. At the same time young Sydney stood on the ledge of this nin
Narrator : In the New York Herald, November 26, year 1911, there is an account of the hanging of three men. They died for the murder of Sir Edmund William Godfrey; Husband, Father, Pharmacist and all around gentle-man resident of: Greenberry Hill, London. He was murdered by three vagrants whose motive was simple robbery. They were identified as: Joseph Green, Stanley Berry, and Daniel Hill. Green, Berry, Hill. And I Would Like To Think This was Only A Matter Of Chance. As reported in the Reno Gazette, June of 1983 there is the story of a fire, the water that it took to contain the fire, and a scuba diver named Delmer Darion. Employee of the Peppermill Hotel and Casino, Reno, Nevada. Engaged as a blackjack dealer. Well liked and well regarded as a physical, recreational and sporting sort, Delmer's true passion was for the lake. As reported by the coroner, Delmer died of a heart attack somewhere between the lake and the tree. A most curious side note is the suicide the next day of Craig Hansen. Volunteer firefighter, estranged father of four and a poor tendency to drink. Mr. Hansen was the pilot of the plane that quite accidentally lifted Delmer Darion out of the water. Added to this, Mr. Hansen's tortured life met before with Delmer Darion just two nights previous. The weight of the guilt and the measure of coincidence so large, Craig Hansen took his life. And I Am Trying To Think This Was All Only A Matter Of Chance. The tale told at a 1961 awards dinner for the American Association Of Forensic Science by Dr. Donald Harper, president of the association, began with a simple suicide attempt. Seventeen-year-old Sydney Barringer. In the city of Los Angeles on March 23, 1958. The coroner ruled that the unsuccessful suicide had suddenly become a successful homicide. To explain: The suicide was confirmed by a note, left in the breast pocket of Sydney Barringer. At the same time young Sydney stood on the ledge of this nin
Movie: Magnolia
Stanley Spector : [ watching it rain frogs outside the library window ] This happens. This is something that happens.
Movie: Magnolia
Jimmy Gator : The book says, "We might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."
Movie: Magnolia
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : Want to know the common element for the entire group?... I'll tell you the answer: I'll tell you, 'cause I had that one. I had that question... Carbon. Carbon. In pencil lead, it's in the form of graphite and in coal, it's mixed up with other impurities and in the diamond it's in hard form. [ Jimmy Gator impression ]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : "Well... all we were asking was the common element, Donnie... but thank you for all that unnecessary knowledge... haha, kids! Heads so full of useless knowledge. Thank you. Thank you." And the book says: "We may be through with the past... but the past is not through with us!" [ to Thurston ]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : And... no, it is not dangerous to confuse children with angels!
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : "Well... all we were asking was the common element, Donnie... but thank you for all that unnecessary knowledge... haha, kids! Heads so full of useless knowledge. Thank you. Thank you." And the book says: "We may be through with the past... but the past is not through with us!" [ to Thurston ]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : And... no, it is not dangerous to confuse children with angels!
Movie: Magnolia
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I know I did a stupid thing. So stupid! Getting braces. I thought... I thought he would love me. Getting... braces! And for what? For something I don't even... I don't know where to put things, you know? I really do have love to give! I just don't know where to put it!
Movie: Magnolia
Claudia Wilson Gator : Now that I've met you, would you object to never seeing me again?
Movie: Magnolia
Gwenovier : Come on, Frank. What are you doing?
Frank T.J. Mackey : What am I doing? I'm quietly judging you.
Frank T.J. Mackey : What am I doing? I'm quietly judging you.
Movie: Magnolia
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I used to be smart, but now I'm just stupid.
Thurston Howell : Brad, dear, who was it that said..."A man of genius has seldom been ruined but by himself"?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : [ quietly; to himself ] ... Samuel Johnson...
Thurston Howell : It was the lovely Samuel Johnson! Who also spoke of a fellow "who was not only dull... but a cause of dullness in others."
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : "The cause of dullness in others."
Thurston Howell : Picky picky!
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : Let me tell you this; Samuel Johnson never had his life shit on... and taken from him, and his money stolen! Who took his life and his money? His parents? His mommy, and daddy? Make him live this life like this... A man of genius who gets shit on as a child!... and that scars! That hurts! Have you ever been hit by lightning? It hurts. It doesn't happen to everyone. It's an electrical charge. It finds its way across the universe... and it lands in your body, and your head! And as for ruined, but by himself... not if his parents took his freaking life... and his money, and tell you to do this... and to do that, and if you don't...
Smiling Peanut Patron #1 : Your parents took your money you won on that game show?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : Yes! They did. [ to Thurston ]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : What does that mean, a spoke in the wheel?
Thurston Howell : Things go round and round, don't they?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : Yes, they do... They do. But I'll make my dreams come true.
Thurston Howell : Sounds sad as a weeping willow.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I used to be smart. But now I'm just stupid.
Thurston Howell : [ raising his glass ] Shall we drink to that?
Thurston Howell : Brad, dear, who was it that said..."A man of genius has seldom been ruined but by himself"?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : [ quietly; to himself ] ... Samuel Johnson...
Thurston Howell : It was the lovely Samuel Johnson! Who also spoke of a fellow "who was not only dull... but a cause of dullness in others."
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : "The cause of dullness in others."
Thurston Howell : Picky picky!
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : Let me tell you this; Samuel Johnson never had his life shit on... and taken from him, and his money stolen! Who took his life and his money? His parents? His mommy, and daddy? Make him live this life like this... A man of genius who gets shit on as a child!... and that scars! That hurts! Have you ever been hit by lightning? It hurts. It doesn't happen to everyone. It's an electrical charge. It finds its way across the universe... and it lands in your body, and your head! And as for ruined, but by himself... not if his parents took his freaking life... and his money, and tell you to do this... and to do that, and if you don't...
Smiling Peanut Patron #1 : Your parents took your money you won on that game show?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : Yes! They did. [ to Thurston ]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : What does that mean, a spoke in the wheel?
Thurston Howell : Things go round and round, don't they?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : Yes, they do... They do. But I'll make my dreams come true.
Thurston Howell : Sounds sad as a weeping willow.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I used to be smart. But now I'm just stupid.
Thurston Howell : [ raising his glass ] Shall we drink to that?
Movie: Magnolia
Earl Partridge : Phil. Phil. Hey, come here. Come here. Uh... Phil. I'm... I'm gonna try... talk. I'm gonna try to say something-something. Do you know Lily, Phil? Do you know her? Lily?
Phil Parma : No, I don't.
Earl Partridge : Oh, she's my love, my life, love of it. Y'know. In school... I'm twelve years old, in school, in sixth grade. I saw her. I didn't go to that school, but... uh... we met. My friend knew her. I said, uh... "What's that girl? How's that Lily?" "Oh, she's bad. She sleeps with guys." Yeah, he said this, but then sometimes... I went to another school, you see. But then... when high school - at an end. What is that when it gets to the end?
Phil Parma : Graduation.
Earl Partridge : No, no, the grade. What grade are you in?
Phil Parma : That's 12th.
Earl Partridge : Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I went to her school for that grade. Grade - that's grade twelve. And we meet. She was... fucking like a doll. A beautiful porcelain doll. And the hips, child-bearing hips, you know that? So, so beautiful. And I cheated on her... over and over and over again. Because I wanted to be a man. And I didn't want her to be a woman, you know? A smart, free person who was something! My fucking mind then. So stupid, that fucking mind! Stupid! Jesus Christ! What would I think, did I think for what I'd done? She was my wife for twenty-three years... and I went behind her over and over. Fucking asshole that I am. I'd go out and I'd fuck and I'd come home and get in her bed... and say... "I love you." This is Jack's mother. His mother, Lily. These two... that I had... and I lost. This is the regret that you make. This is the... regret that you make and the something you take and the blah, blah, blah, something, something. Gimme a cigarette. Mistakes like this... you don't make. Sometimes... you make some and OK. Not OK, sometimes, you make o
Phil Parma : No, I don't.
Earl Partridge : Oh, she's my love, my life, love of it. Y'know. In school... I'm twelve years old, in school, in sixth grade. I saw her. I didn't go to that school, but... uh... we met. My friend knew her. I said, uh... "What's that girl? How's that Lily?" "Oh, she's bad. She sleeps with guys." Yeah, he said this, but then sometimes... I went to another school, you see. But then... when high school - at an end. What is that when it gets to the end?
Phil Parma : Graduation.
Earl Partridge : No, no, the grade. What grade are you in?
Phil Parma : That's 12th.
Earl Partridge : Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I went to her school for that grade. Grade - that's grade twelve. And we meet. She was... fucking like a doll. A beautiful porcelain doll. And the hips, child-bearing hips, you know that? So, so beautiful. And I cheated on her... over and over and over again. Because I wanted to be a man. And I didn't want her to be a woman, you know? A smart, free person who was something! My fucking mind then. So stupid, that fucking mind! Stupid! Jesus Christ! What would I think, did I think for what I'd done? She was my wife for twenty-three years... and I went behind her over and over. Fucking asshole that I am. I'd go out and I'd fuck and I'd come home and get in her bed... and say... "I love you." This is Jack's mother. His mother, Lily. These two... that I had... and I lost. This is the regret that you make. This is the... regret that you make and the something you take and the blah, blah, blah, something, something. Gimme a cigarette. Mistakes like this... you don't make. Sometimes... you make some and OK. Not OK, sometimes, you make o
Movie: Magnolia
Frank T.J. Mackey : Don't go away, you fucking asshole, don't go away. Don't go away, you fucking asshole, don't go away! Don't go away you fucking asshole!
Movie: Magnolia
Earl Partridge : I loved her so. And she knew what I did. She knew all the fucking stupid things I'd done. But the love... was stronger than anything you can think of. The goddamn regret. The goddamn regret! Oh, and I'll die. Now I'll die, and I'll tell you what... the biggest regret of my life... I let my love go. What did I do? I'm sixty-five years old. And I'm ashamed. A million years ago... the fucking regret and guilt, these things, don't ever let anyone ever say to you you shouldn't regret anything. Don't do that. Don't! You regret what you fucking want! Use that. Use that. Use that regret for anything, any way you want. You can use it, OK? Oh, God. This is a long way to go with no punch. A little moral story, I say... Love. Love. Love. This fucking life... oh, it's so fucking hard. So long. Life ain't short, it's long. It's long, goddamn it. Goddamn. What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? Phil. Phil, help me. What did I do?
Movie: Magnolia
Frank T.J. Mackey : In this big game that we play, life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve, it's what you take. I'm Frank T.J. Mackey, a master of the muffin and author of the Seduce and Destroy system now available to you on video and audio cassette. Seduce and Destroy will teach you the techniques to have any hardbody blonde just dripping to wet your dock. Bottom line? Language. The magical key to unlocking the female analytical mindset. Tap directly into her hopes, her wants, her fears, her desires, and her sweet little panties. Learn how to make that lady "friend" your sex-starved servant. I don't care how you look. I don't care what car you drive. I don't care what your last bank statement says. Seduce and Destroy produces an instant money-back guarantee trance-like state that will get you this - naughty sauce you want fast. Hey - how many more times do you need to hear the all-too-famous line of 'I just don't feel that way about you?'
Movie: Magnolia
Frank T.J. Mackey : Respect the cock! And tame the cunt! Tame it! Take it on headfirst with the skills that I will teach you at work and say no! You will not control me! No! You will not take my soul! No! You will not win this game! Because it's a game, guys. You want to think it's not, huh? You want to think it's not? Go back to the schoolyard and you have that crush on big-titted Mary Jane. Respect the cock. You are embedding this thought. I am the one who's in charge. I am the one who says yes! No! Now! Here! Because it's universal, man. It is evolutional. It is anthropological. It is biological. It is animal. We... are... men!
Movie: Magnolia
Jimmy Gator : "Now I'm going to have our three whistlers... uh... please to present the next... um, the... um... musical... there were three... musical sections here, and this'll be the third... the third section... um... and they'll play a piece... it's very recognizable, it's... Chopin, actually... it's taken... it's, it's in the style of "March Militaire", which is a very... recognizable piece, so... if you please, just... listen to this, and I'm sure you can identify the... um, I'm sort of giving away the answer here, but that's... it's... Chopin... I don't mean to give away the answer... it's... please, just... you know... sing us a ditty, guys... a Chopin ditty." [ collapses ]
Movie: Magnolia
Frank T.J. Mackey : In this life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve - it's what you take!
Movie: Magnolia
Claudia Wilson Gator : I'll tell you everything, and you tell me everything, and maybe we can get through all the piss and shit and lies that kill other people.
Movie: Magnolia
Frank T.J. Mackey : [ Frank is speaking to followers at his seminar ] Men are shit. What? Men... are... *shit*. What, isn't that what they say? Because we do bad things, don't we? We do horrible, heineous, *heinous*, terrible things. Things that no woman would ever do. No, women, they don't lie. No, women don't cheat. Women don't *manipulate* us. But you see what I'm getting at. You see what society does? Little boys, it's, "Wow, womaaaan!" We are taught to apologize. I am sorry. I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry. What is it that we need? Is it their pussies? Their love? Mommy wouldn't let me play soccer... and Daddy, he hit me, so that's who I am, that's why I do what I do? Fucking bullshit. I will not apologize for who I am. I will not apologize for what I need. I will not apologize for what I *want*!
Movie: Magnolia