Losers Take All Quotes
Brian: So, did you girls enjoy the show?
Simone: What show? Was there a show?
Brian: [to Dave]Comedian.
Simone: Comedienne.
Brian: I was gonna say that.
Simone: What show? Was there a show?
Brian: [to Dave]Comedian.
Simone: Comedienne.
Brian: I was gonna say that.
Movie: Losers Take All
Greg Glaverman: [Watching Brian make out with Simone]I hope Brian's wearing a rubber. Guys, if there's one thing I've learned it's that chlamydia is not a flower. It's a cotton swab the size of a majorette's baton jammed in your urethra.
Billy: Greg... we're dudes. We don't have urethras. We have dicks. The only reason I'm in this band is for the chicks.
Lance: Yeah. If I didn't wanna meet chicks, I'd sell furniture.
Billy: Greg... we're dudes. We don't have urethras. We have dicks. The only reason I'm in this band is for the chicks.
Lance: Yeah. If I didn't wanna meet chicks, I'd sell furniture.
Movie: Losers Take All
Brian: [after being beaten up by jocks for listening to Black Flag]You know what?
Dave: What?
Brian: We need to start a band.
Dave: What?
Brian: We need to start a band.
Movie: Losers Take All
Wendy Horowitz: I just wanted to let you guys know I really liked your show.
Lance: You know that, like... we suck.
Wendy Horowitz: Yeah. But in a good way.
Lance: You know that, like... we suck.
Wendy Horowitz: Yeah. But in a good way.
Movie: Losers Take All
Dave: We do suck in the grand scheme of things.
Vicky: The grand scheme of things is Huey Lewis and the News. Which you guys aren't, thank God.
Greg Glaverman: She's right. You're not Huey Lewis or the News.
Vicky: The grand scheme of things is Huey Lewis and the News. Which you guys aren't, thank God.
Greg Glaverman: She's right. You're not Huey Lewis or the News.
Movie: Losers Take All
Brian: [Listening to Bad Brains]That's a song, man. That needs to be us.
Dave: That'll never be us.
Brian: Why not?
Dave: First of all... Bad Brains are black. Second of all, we can't keep a band together for more than 5 minutes.
Dave: That'll never be us.
Brian: Why not?
Dave: First of all... Bad Brains are black. Second of all, we can't keep a band together for more than 5 minutes.
Movie: Losers Take All
Brian: Aren't you guys excited to me moving in with us?
Billy: Hey man, we just started dating. I don't know if Lance and I are ready to move in just yet.
Billy: Hey man, we just started dating. I don't know if Lance and I are ready to move in just yet.
Movie: Losers Take All
Greg Glaverman: [Handing the boys a business card]My name's Greg Glaverman. I manage and promote bands.
Dave: [Looking at the card]It says here you sell furniture, Greg.
Greg Glaverman: That's an old card. The new ones are gonna say both.
Billy: [Suddenly realizing]I know you, dude! You're that guy who's always getting his ass kicked in those TV commercials! [the band cracks up]
Greg Glaverman: So... have you guys, like, cut a demo? Is there anything I could listen to? I've got a cassette player in my car, I could just pop it in.
Dave: Are you serious?
Lance: What's Slamdini like in real life?
Greg Glaverman: He's pretty nice. We don't really talk much. I'm serious about the demo.
Dave: [Looking at the card]It says here you sell furniture, Greg.
Greg Glaverman: That's an old card. The new ones are gonna say both.
Billy: [Suddenly realizing]I know you, dude! You're that guy who's always getting his ass kicked in those TV commercials! [the band cracks up]
Greg Glaverman: So... have you guys, like, cut a demo? Is there anything I could listen to? I've got a cassette player in my car, I could just pop it in.
Dave: Are you serious?
Lance: What's Slamdini like in real life?
Greg Glaverman: He's pretty nice. We don't really talk much. I'm serious about the demo.
Movie: Losers Take All
Kenny: [Yelling at Billy and Lance]How are we ever gonna make it anywhere as a band if you guys can't act professional on stage? I mean... you can't just do what you want out there! This is rock and roll! There are rules, man!
Movie: Losers Take All
Greg Glaverman: [Snorts cocaine for the first time, to the dealer]You wouldn't happen to have any of this for sale, would you?
Movie: Losers Take All
Ellie: [Hands Lance a bag for a Fingers record]Why don't you guys take this as payment? I've got to unload them before my dad gets here anyway.
Billy: Is that weed?
Ellie: Mushrooms.
Greg Glaverman: [Runs by, high on cocaine]Mushrooms? Freak out! That's hippie shit. Child's play!
Ellie: ...is that your roadie?
Billy: Um... something like that...
Billy: Is that weed?
Ellie: Mushrooms.
Greg Glaverman: [Runs by, high on cocaine]Mushrooms? Freak out! That's hippie shit. Child's play!
Ellie: ...is that your roadie?
Billy: Um... something like that...
Movie: Losers Take All
Billy: [Taking a bong hit after listening to Greg's rehab letter]Drugs are bad.
Movie: Losers Take All
[Brian and Dave approach Billy and Lance tripping on mescaline]Brian: Great show guys.
Billy: Yeah right.
Brian: No, I... I'm serious. You guys ever thought about joining a real band?
Dave: What real band?
Brian: Our real band.
Dave: [Realizing Brian's idea]... no... no no no no no, not these guys. They're all heavy metal and shit.
Billy: [Scoffs]Whatever, dude.
Dave: Sorry...
Brian: [to Dave]It's okay. Why don't you just leave the staffing & sonic stylings to me, okay? I can mold these guys into our sound.
Lance: [to Billy]Do they know that we're, like, right in front of them?
Billy: Who the fuck are you guys? We don't even know you!
Brian: Look, this is Dave. He is the best bass player in the whole tri-county universe.
Dave: [Genuinely touched]Thanks... this is Brian. He's out of his goddamn mind.
Brian: Look, I know this is gonna sound crazy, okay? But after you lost... Gandalf on bass, I had a vision of a band that we're all in. It's not metal, it's not really punk and you know what? It doesn't suck.
Lance: [Takes a long drag on his spliff]So are you guys, like... on drugs or something?
Dave: No, we're not.
Billy: You got any more?
Brian: ...yes.
Billy: Yeah right.
Brian: No, I... I'm serious. You guys ever thought about joining a real band?
Dave: What real band?
Brian: Our real band.
Dave: [Realizing Brian's idea]... no... no no no no no, not these guys. They're all heavy metal and shit.
Billy: [Scoffs]Whatever, dude.
Dave: Sorry...
Brian: [to Dave]It's okay. Why don't you just leave the staffing & sonic stylings to me, okay? I can mold these guys into our sound.
Lance: [to Billy]Do they know that we're, like, right in front of them?
Billy: Who the fuck are you guys? We don't even know you!
Brian: Look, this is Dave. He is the best bass player in the whole tri-county universe.
Dave: [Genuinely touched]Thanks... this is Brian. He's out of his goddamn mind.
Brian: Look, I know this is gonna sound crazy, okay? But after you lost... Gandalf on bass, I had a vision of a band that we're all in. It's not metal, it's not really punk and you know what? It doesn't suck.
Lance: [Takes a long drag on his spliff]So are you guys, like... on drugs or something?
Dave: No, we're not.
Billy: You got any more?
Brian: ...yes.
Movie: Losers Take All
Greg Glaverman: [Watching Brian make out with Simone]Hey, wait a minute, I know that girl.
Billy: [Drunk, surprised]You do? How?
Greg Glaverman: She's like punk rock royalty.
Lance: So how do you know her?
Greg Glaverman: Well, her boyfriend's Miles Monroe.
Lance: I'm thinking maybe they broke up.
Billy: Who the hell is Miles Monroe?
Greg Glaverman: He started Miles Per Hour Records. [Billy and Lance are blank]
Greg Glaverman: Miles Per Hour Records? One of the best indies in the country? It's right here in town! It's the label you guys wanna be on.
Billy: Warner Bros is the label I wanna be on. With Van Halen.
Lance: Yeah, yeah... and whatchimacallit, uh... D³sker H³.
Billy: [Drunk, surprised]You do? How?
Greg Glaverman: She's like punk rock royalty.
Lance: So how do you know her?
Greg Glaverman: Well, her boyfriend's Miles Monroe.
Lance: I'm thinking maybe they broke up.
Billy: Who the hell is Miles Monroe?
Greg Glaverman: He started Miles Per Hour Records. [Billy and Lance are blank]
Greg Glaverman: Miles Per Hour Records? One of the best indies in the country? It's right here in town! It's the label you guys wanna be on.
Billy: Warner Bros is the label I wanna be on. With Van Halen.
Lance: Yeah, yeah... and whatchimacallit, uh... D³sker H³.
Movie: Losers Take All