Loaded Weapon 1 Quotes

Captain Doyle: Don't be so fast to thank me on this, Luger, because you're going to be naked on this one. It's on the line for you. People are going to be watching. Now you blow it, you're going down. You screw up, you're going to be hung out to dry. You drop the ball, you're going to be left twisting in the wind. If you embarrass this department, your pants will be dancing with figs. Is that clear?
Wes Luger: Everything except for the dancing with figs part!

Movie: Loaded Weapon 1
Colt: Nice weather? You think we're having... nice weather? I guess you didn't lose the only one that meant anything in your life. I guess you don't feel burned out by the human misery and despair perpetrated by the criminal vermin that infest every pore of this decaying city, forcing you to guzzle cheap wine and cheaper whiskey to dull the pain that shatters your heart, rips at your soul, and keeps your days forever gray. What flavor Icee you got today?

Movie: Loaded Weapon 1
Gen. Morters: Half the payment now. Half tomorrow. Half on delivery.

Movie: Loaded Weapon 1
Jack Colt: Claire and I rode together for seven years.
Wes Luger: York and I were in academy together. Then we partnered for five years. Before that, we dodged the draft together. Before that, we played high school football together. Before that, we were in grade school together. And before that, we breast fed together.

Movie: Loaded Weapon 1
[Colt and Luger's car blows up]
Colt: Good thing we took valet.
Wes Luger: Taxi! [the taxi blows up]
Colt: I guess we're making somebody nervous. But I'll tell you this: It's gonna take a helluva lot more than a couple of car bombs to get us off of this case.
Wes Luger: Not a helluva lot more.

Movie: Loaded Weapon 1