L!fe Happens Quotes

Deena: Winston Churchill, St. Augustine, Floyd Mayweather, 50 Cent, Jack Nicholson, Barack Obama, and my cousin Taylor were all bastards, and they turned out just fine. Women carry the baby, they birth the baby, they feed the baby. Fathers are totally antiquated.

Movie: L!fe Happens
Henri: Yeah! I can see you. Child on your hip, born to be a mom.
Deena: And I see you. Mustache on your face, profiled on To Catch a Predator.

Movie: L!fe Happens
Laura: He was really hot. Like a Greek statue.
Kim: Don't say that. Those guys suffer from small cocks.
Deena: Only because the small penis was seen as a sign of refinement. Big ones were vulgar. Plus the Olympics were done naked, so they didn't want shit flapping around...

Movie: L!fe Happens
Kim: I feel like a large chunk of hamburger that's been mooshed into a person.

Movie: L!fe Happens
[first lines]Kim
Deena: [each rushing out of their room]Do you have a condom?
Kim
Deena: No!
Kim
Deena: Crap!

Movie: L!fe Happens
Laura: Raw fish? Nudity? What would Jesus say?

Movie: L!fe Happens
Francesca: It makes me crazy now-a-days that people have children when there's so many dogs that are in need of forever homes.

Movie: L!fe Happens
Rita The Receptionist: [on the phone]Do you think he's ever gonna propose? I'm, like, the perfect girlfriend. I cook, I clean, I wear sexy underwear...
Deena: [in the waiting room]Psst. Hang up the phone. Hang up the phone.
Rita The Receptionist: [stunned, complies]
Deena: What's your name?
Rita The Receptionist: Uh, Rita.
Deena: Rita. Pick up a new hobby, like skydiving or dirt bike riding. Don't tell him about it, but just start Leaving your gear around the house. When he asks you about it, just say, Oh, what? That? That's my parachute. Or, Oh, that's my motorcycle helmet, did I not tell you about that? You'll have a ring on your finger within the month. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen. Live by it.

Movie: L!fe Happens