Krampus Quotes

Max: Are we going to be okay? [Omi talks in German]
Max: What?
Aunt Dorothy: She said we're fucked!

Movie: Krampus
Howard: We should have gone to stay with my brother!
Linda: Your brother lives in a barn!
Howard: Jesus was born in a barn!

Movie: Krampus
Omi: Saint Nicholas is not coming this year. Instead, a much darker, ancient spirit. His name is Krampus. He and his helpers did not come to give, but to take. He is the shadow of Saint Nicholas.

Movie: Krampus
Aunt Dorothy: I'm old enough to know when life is coming at me with its pants down.

Movie: Krampus
Omi: Like he had for thousands of years, Krampus came not to reward, but to punish. Not to give, but to take.

Movie: Krampus
Omi: Please, listen...
Aunt Dorothy: English. I knew it.

Movie: Krampus
Howard: You're not thinking of going after that snowplow alone, are you?
Tom: Shepherd's gotta protect his flock.

Movie: Krampus
Jordan: We know you still believe in the big fat creeper!
Max: I don't know what you're talking about!
Stevie: [pulls up Max's letter to Santa]Are you sure about that?
Beth Engel: [Max tries to get his letter back and Beth stops him]Stop!
Stevie: [starts reading Max's letter]Dear Santa, I know I haven't been great this year and I'm sorry for that, but I was really hoping you can help out me and my family this Christmas. We need you! Oh, Maxi Pad. That is so s...
Beth Engel: [stops Max from getting his letter back]Stop, Max!
Stevie: Blah blah blah. Bullshit, bullshit. Ah, here we go, Maxi's wishlist!
Beth Engel: Stevie, stop! That's enough!
Stevie: Wait, you're up first, Beth! [reading the letter]
Stevie: I wish me and Beth could hang out like we used to. [Beth turns her head to Max]
Stevie: Might've noticed that I don't have tons of friends. [Stevie pretends to feel sorry for him and Jordan mockingly smiles at Max]
Stevie: Oh no, really Max? [Jordan laughs and Stevie continues reading the letter]
Stevie: I wish my Mom and Dad could fall in love again. [Tom and Howard look at each other]
Stevie: I know they get upset a lot with Dad away from home so much. I think they really just miss each other. [Linda comes in]
Stevie: Also, I wish things weren't so hard for Uncle Howard and Aunt Linda. [Stevie and Linda look at each other]
Stevie: So, maybe you can lend them a hand for the rest of the year. [turns letter around as Howard and Linda look at each other]
Stevie: And... and that... [angrily facing Max]
Stevie: Screw you, Dad does not wish we were boys!
Sarah Engel: [smilingly enters the dining room with carambola]Who wants carambola? [Beth turns her head to her mother

Movie: Krampus
Linda: You let them go to the bathroom alone!
Aunt Dorothy: There was another option?

Movie: Krampus
Max: I don't even know how to drive a stick. We have a hybrid!

Movie: Krampus
Linda: It's Christmas. Nothing bad is going to happen on Christmas!

Movie: Krampus
Max: I don't get it. Every year it gets worse! Why do we have to put up with their crap just because we share DNA?
Tom: Because that's what a family is, Max. People you try to be friends with, even when you don't have a lot in common.
Max: But why?
Tom: Because... well... [pause]
Tom: Okay, you kind of got me there.

Movie: Krampus
Howard: How come rich people get all the free shit?
Linda: I don't know, honey!

Movie: Krampus
Aunt Dorothy: So what kind of godforsaken concoction are you whipping up now? You know how this fancy food clogs my pipes
Sarah Engel: Well how about we go to your trailer for Christmas next year, hm? And after you spending weeks decorating and cooking and cleaning, I might just waddle in and start bitching and moaning about everything you worked so hard on!
Aunt Dorothy: Oh Sarah, you know I...
Sarah Engel: No, Aunt Dorothy, please! For your sake, just... stay the hell out of my kitchen!

Movie: Krampus