Colonel James Rhodes: [sees Trevor]THIS is the Mandarin?
Tony Stark: I know, right? It's embarrassing!

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Aldrich Killian: No more false faces... You said you wanted the Mandarin? You're looking right at him! It was always me, Tony, right from the start! I AM THE MANDARIN! [Pepper, glowing with Extremis, swats him away with a pole and looks at Tony, who thought she was dead]
Tony Stark: I got nothing.

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[spoiler] Tony Stark: I've heard enough. You're not him. [racks his pistol]
Tony Stark: The Mandarin, the real guy. [shouts]
Tony Stark: Where? Where's the Mandarin? Where is he?
Trevor Slattery: Whoa, whoa, whoa! He's here! He's here... but he's not here. He's here but he's not here.
Tony Stark: What do you mean?
Trevor Slattery: Uh, it's compli- hey, it's complicated.
Tony Stark: It is?
Trevor Slattery: It's complicated.
Tony Stark: Un-complicate it. Ladies, out. Get out of the bed, get in the bathroom! [they rush to comply]
Tony Stark: [to Trevor]Sit!
Mandarin Party Girl
1: [from the bathroom]Ew!
Mandarin Party Girl
2: [from the bathroom]Oh, Jesus...

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Taggert: [about to explode]Savin, help me!

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[spoiler] Trevor Slattery: My name's Trevor. Trevor Slattery.
Tony Stark: What are you? You're a decoy, a double, right?
Trevor Slattery: What, you mean an understudy? No, certainly not! [Tony raises his gun]
Trevor Slattery: Don't hurt the face, I'm an actor!
Tony Stark: You got a minute to live. Fill it with words.
Trevor Slattery: It's just a role. The Mandarin. See, it's not real.

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Maya Hansen: I need Stark alive! He's the only one who can improve on the Extremis, make it into what I want, and you want!

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[from TV spot] Tony Stark: I'm here on a mission: fighting back.

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Gary the Cameraman: I don't want to make things awkward for you, but I do have to show you... Boom! [shows his tattoo of Tony on his arm]
Tony Stark: A Hispanic Scott Baio? I'm sorry. Is that me?.

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Maya Hansen: Is that normal?
Tony Stark: Yes, this is normal! It's a big bunny, relax about it!

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[spoiler] Aldrich Killian: But as I looked out over that city - nobody knew I was there, nobody could see me, no one was even looking - I had a thought that would guide me for years. Anonymity, Tony. Thanks to you, it's been my mantra ever since. [glances at Maya]
Aldrich Killian: Right? You simply rule from behind the scenes. Because the second you give evil a face - a bin Laden, a Gaddafi, a Mandarin - you hand the people a target.

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[from trailer] The Mandarin: My soldiers are coming. NOTHING can save you!
Tony Stark: We'll see about that.

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[the Iron Legion arrives] Tony Stark: [to Rhodey]Merry Christmas, buddy.

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President Ellis: You elected me on a single platform. I will defend this country at all costs. The Mandarin must be stopped!

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[from trailer] Aldrich Killian: The whole world's gonna be watching.

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Trevor Slattery: [being held at gunpoint]You want something? Take it - though the guns are all fake, 'cause those wankers wouldn't trust me with the real ones.
Tony Stark: ...What?
Trevor Slattery: Hey, d'you fancy either of the birds? [the girls in his room look insulted]

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[Hansen's plant explodes] Happy Hogan: I'm coming! I got you! [throws himself on Tony]
Maya Hansen: It's okay, it was the plant! It's a glitch in my work.
Tony Stark: [to Hogan]Please, stop riding me!

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Bill Maher: [footage of Real Time]And how is the president responding? By taking the guy they call War Machine and giving him a paint job.

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Tony Stark: [to Ms. Davis]Your son didn't kill those people. He's not a murderer. He was used.

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[from trailer] The Mandarin: Mr. Stark, today is the first day of what's left of your life.

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Trevor Slattery: [watching TV]OLE OLE OLE OLE!

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Tony Stark: Nothing's been the same since New York.
Pepper Potts: Oh, really? I didn't notice that at all.
Tony Stark: You experience things and then they're over, and you still can't explain them. Gods, aliens, other dimensions. I'm just a man in a can. The only reason I haven't cracked up is probably because you moved in. Which is great. I love you. I'm lucky. But honey, I can't sleep. You go to bed, I come down here. I do what I know. I tinker. I... Threat is imminent. And I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without. That's you. And my suits, they're, uh... Machines. They're part of me.

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Neptune's Net Boy: [whispers to Tony]How did you get out of the wormhole?

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Sweat Shop Agent: Savin? I've acquired the Patriot armor.
Colonel James Rhodes: If you want this suit, you're going to have to pry my cold dead body out of it.
Sweat Shop Agent: That's the plan, Colonel.

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Aldrich Killian: It's a beautiful day, Mr. Savin.

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Aldrich Killian: [about to Extremis-punch Stark]Close your eyes. You don't want to see this happening. [brings down his fist... ]
Tony Stark: [cuts off Killian's hand]Yeah, be with you in a minute...

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Ho Yinsen: Mr. Stark. Ho Yinsen.
Tony Stark: Ah, I finally met a man called Ho. Come here.
Ho Yinsen: I would like to introduce you to our guest, Dr. Wu.
Tony Stark: Oh, this guy. Hey.
Doctor Wu: Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: You're a heart doctor. [points to Maya]
Tony Stark: She's going to need a cardiologist after I... [honks party horn and leaves with Maya]
Maya Hansen: Bye.
Ho Yinsen: Perhaps another time?

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Colonel James Rhodes: [points a gun at Trevor]Tony, I swear, I'm going to blow his face off.

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[the Mandarin broadcasts his latest message to President Ellis on all networks] The Mandarin: Mr. President. Only two lessons remain. And I intend to finish this before Christmas morning. Meet Thomas Richards. Good strong name, god strong job. Thomas here is an accountant for the Roxxon Oil Corporation. But I'm sure he's a really good guy. [Richards sobs in fear as Mandarin points a gun down on him]
The Mandarin: I'm going to shoot him in the head, live on your television in 30 seconds. The number for this telephone is in your cell phone. Exciting, isn't it, imagining how it got there? America, if your President calls me in the next half-minute, Tom lives. Go! [President Ellis checks his phone and discovers a phone number]
President Ellis: How did he hack my phone?
Secret Service Agent: We can't allow terrorists to dictate...
President Ellis: I have to make this call.
Secret Service Agent: I'd strongly advise against that.
President Ellis: This is the right thing to do. [President Ellis calls the number. Mandarin's phone rings. After three rings, Mandarin shoots Richards, shocking everyone watching on television]
The Mandarin: There's just one lesson left, President Ellis. So run away, hide, kiss your children goodbye. Because nothing, not your army, not your red, white, and blue attack dog, can save you. I'll see you soon. [Mandarin ends his broadcast]
President Ellis: Tell Rhodes, find this lunatic right now.

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[Stark hurls a piano at a copter] Tony Stark: That's one!

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Tony Stark: [narrates]I thought things couldn't get any worse... then I turned on the TV. That's when he happened.

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Jarvis: I seem to do quite well for a stretch, and then at the end of the sentence I say the wrong cranberry.

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Tony Stark: [to Happy, who is pointing his tablet video-call camera too high, catching only the top half of his face]Is this the forehead of security?

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Happy Hogan: You know, look... I got a real job. What do you want? I'm working. I've got something going on, here.
Tony Stark: What, harassing interns?
Happy Hogan: Let me tell you something. Do you know what happened when I told everyone I was Iron Man's bodyguard? They would laugh in my face. I had to leave while I still had a shred of dignity. Now I got a real job. I'm watching Pepper.

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[after being frightened by Tony's suit] Pepper Potts: I'm sleeping downstairs! Tinker with that!

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Tony Stark: Think about it. Six dead. Only five shadows.
Harley Keener: Yeah, people said these shadows are like the marks of souls going to heaven. Except the bomb guy. He went to hell, on account of he didn't get a shadow. That's why there's only five.
Tony Stark: You buy that?
Harley Keener: It's what everyone says.

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Tony Stark: [narrates]Some people say progress is a bad thing. But try having a magnet in your chest keeping you alive.

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Aldrich Killian: [referring to Trevor Slattery]You have met him, I presume?
Tony Stark: Yeah, Sir Laurence Oblivier.
Aldrich Killian: I know he's a little over the top sometimes. It's not entirely my fault. He has a tend... he's-he's a stage actor. They say his Lear was the toast of Croydon, wherever that is. Anyway, the point is, ever since that big dude with a hammer fell out of the sky, subtlety's kinda had its day.

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Tony Stark: [after blasting a hole through Savin's chest]Walk away from that, you son of a bitch.

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Tony Stark: I miss you, Happy.
Happy Hogan: Yeah, I miss you, too. But the way it used to be. Now you're off with the super-friends. I don't know what's going on with you, anymore. The world's getting weird.

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Maya Hansen: [puts a gun to her head]Let him go! What's going to happen to your men, what's going to happen to YOU? [Killian shoots Maya]
Aldrich Killian: [to Stark]Well, the good news is, a high-level position has just been vacated.

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Tony Stark: It's Christmas. Take 'em to Church.

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[from TV spot] Tony Stark: [suits up]You know, it's moments like these when I realize how much of a superhero I am.
Pepper Potts: Wow!

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Colonel James Rhodes: Give me a suit. [holds out arms]
Tony Stark: Sorry, they're only coded to me. Don't worry, I got you covered. [a suit approaches Rhodey]
Jarvis: Good evening, Colonel. Can I give you a lift?
Colonel James Rhodes: Very funny.

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Colonel James Rhodes: We couldn't save the President with the suit, how are we going to save Pepper with nothing?
Tony Stark: Uh... say, Jarvis? Is it that time?
Jarvis: The House Party Protocol, sir?
Tony Stark: Correct. [the suits activate]

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[the Marks 8-41 arrive at the oil rig to surround the Extremis soldiers] Tony Stark: Jarvis, target Extremis heat signatures. Disable with extreme prejudice.
Jarvis: [echoing through the suits]Yes, sir.

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Tony Stark: See what happens when you hang out with my ex-girlfriends?
Pepper Potts: You are such a jerk!

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[from trailer] The Mandarin: I'm gonna offer the choice: do you want an empty life, or a meaningful death?

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Aldrich Killian: The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

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Tony Stark: [to little boy]I loved you in A Christmas Story, by the way.

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[President is wearing the Iron Patriot armor] Colonel James Rhodes: You look damn good, Mr. President. But I'm gonna need that suit back.

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Tony Stark: A bomb is not a bomb when it's a misfire.

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Pepper Potts: You think he'll help you... he won't.
Aldrich Killian: It's more, uh, embarrassing than that. You're here as my, uh...
Pepper Potts: Trophy.
Aldrich Killian: Yeah.

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Tony Stark: Stop stopping!

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[Stark enters the Mandarin's bedroom. He uncovers the bedsheet, only to find two women. He motions them to be silent before sneaking behind the bed when he hears the toilet flush. The Mandarin exits the bathroom] Trevor Slattery: I wouldn't go in there for 20 minutes! [Approaches dresser]
Trevor Slattery: So which one of you is Vanessa? [Vanessa raises her hand]
Trevor Slattery: Ah, Nessie! [Throws fortune cookie to her]
Trevor Slattery: Did you know that fortune cookies aren't Chinese? They're American, based on a Japanese recipe.
Mandarin Party Girl
1: There's some guy over here... [Stark suddenly appears, pointing a gun at The Mandarin]
Tony Stark: Freeze!
Trevor Slattery: [raises hands]Bloody hell. Bloody hell.

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[Stark approaches his car, flanked by news reporter. One videographer behind him points his smartphone at him] Videographer: Hey Mr. Stark. When is somebody going to kill this guy? Just sayin'. [Stark turns around to face the videographer]
Tony Stark: Is that what you want? [pauses]
Tony Stark: Here's a little Holiday greeting I've been wanting to send to the Mandarin. I just didn't know how to phrase it until now. My name is Tony Stark and I'm not afraid of you. I know you're a coward, so I decided... that you just died, pal. I'm gonna come get the body. There's no politics here, it's just good old-fashioned revenge. There's no Pentagon. It's just you and me. And on the off-chance you're a man, here's my home address: 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. I'll leave the door unlocked. That's what you wanted, right? [Stark grabs the smartphone and throws it against a column before entering his car]
Tony Stark: Bill me.

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The Mandarin: Some people call me a terrorist. I consider myself a teacher. America, ready for another lesson? In 1864, in Sand Creek, Colorado, the U.S. Military waited until the friendly Cheyenne Braves had all gone hunting. Waited to attack and slaughter the families left behind. And claim their land. Thirty-nine hours ago, the Ali al-Salam Air Base in Kuwait was attacked. I, I, I did that. A quaint military church, filled with wives and children, of course. The soldiers were out on maneuvers. The 'Braves' were away. President Ellis, you continue to resist my attempts to educate you, sir. And now, you've missed me again. You don't know who I am. You don't know where I am. And you'll NEVER see me coming.

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Trevor Slattery: Ah, well, I had a little problem with... substances, and I, uh, ended up doing things, no two ways about it, in the street, that a man shouldn't do...
Tony Stark: Next?
Trevor Slattery: Then, they approached me about the role, and they knew about the drugs...
Tony Stark: What did they say, they'd get you off them?
Trevor Slattery: Said they'd give me more!

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Jarvis: Sir, I think I need to sleep now... [shuts down]
Tony Stark: Jarvis! Jarvis? Don't leave me, buddy...

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Colonel James Rhodes: This is how you've been managing your downtime, huh?
Tony Stark: Everybody needs a hobby.

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[catching eleven freefalling passengers] Tony Stark: Remember that game, Barrel of Monkeys? This is how it is: we got to catch all the monkeys!

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Savin: You think you're so smart?
Tony Stark: That's the thing about smart guys: we cover our asses! [blasts Savin]

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[after credits, Bruce Banner awakes] Tony Stark: I'm sorry, did I disturb your selective napping?
Bruce Banner: I'm sorry, I'm not that kind of doctor. It's not my department.
Tony Stark: Your training?
Bruce Banner: My temperament.

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Pepper Potts: ...and all your distractions?
Tony Stark: Uh, I'm going to shave them down a bit... [taps earpiece]
Tony Stark: Jarvis. Hey.
Jarvis: All wrapped up here, sir. Will there be anything else?
Tony Stark: You know what to do.
Jarvis: The Clean Slate Protocol, sir?
Tony Stark: Screw it, it's Christmas! Yes, yes! [One by one the suits explode]
Tony Stark: [embraces Pepper]OK so far? You like it?
Pepper Potts: [crying]It'll do.

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[from trailer] Tony Stark: [to Pepper]Things are different now, I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without. That's you.

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Harley Keener: If I was building Iron Man and War Machine...
Tony Stark: It's Iron Patriot now.
Harley Keener: That's way cooler!
Tony Stark: No it's not.
Harley Keener: Anyways, I would have added in, um, the retro...
Tony Stark: Retro-reflective panels?
Harley Keener: To make him stealth mode.
Tony Stark: You want a stealth mode.
Harley Keener: Cool, right?
Tony Stark: That's actually a good idea. Maybe I'll build one. [Harley accidentally breaks off one of Mark 42's fingers]
Tony Stark: Not a good idea.
Harley Keener: Oops.
Tony Stark: What are you doing? You gonna break his finger? He's in pain. He's been injured. Leave him alone.
Harley Keener: S-sorry.
Tony Stark: Are you? [pauses]
Tony Stark: Don't worry about it. I'll fix it.

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[Stark sits down and attempts to remove the microchips from his left forearm when Harley suddenly appears at the front door, aiming his potato gun at him] Harley Keener: Freeze! [Stark drops the pliers]
Harley Keener: Don't... move!
Tony Stark: [Raises hands]You got me. [Stark looks at the potato gun]
Tony Stark: Nice potato gun. Barrel's a little long. Between that and the wide gauge, it's going to diminish your FPS... [Harley shoots a bottle off a column]
Tony Stark: And now you're out of ammo.
Harley Keener: What's that thing on your chest?
Tony Stark: It's a... electromagnet. You should know. You've got a box of them right here. [points at box on table]
Harley Keener: What does it power? [Stark points the table lamp toward the Mark 42 armor sitting on the couch]
Harley Keener: Oh my God! [Harley approaches suit]
Harley Keener: That's... is that... Iron Man?
Tony Stark: Technically, I am Iron Man.
Harley Keener: Technically, you're dead. [Harley hands Stark a newspaper with the headline of the destruction of Stark's mansion]
Tony Stark: Valid point.
Harley Keener: What happened to him?
Tony Stark: Life. I built him. I take care of him. I'll fix him.
Harley Keener: Like a mechanic?
Tony Stark: Yeah.

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[first lines] Tony Stark: [Narrates]A famous man once said, 'We create our own demons.' Who said that? What does that even mean? Doesn't matter. I said it 'cause he said it. So now, he was famous and that basically getting said by two well-known guys. I don't, uh... I'm gonna start again. [pause]
Tony Stark: Let's track this from the beginning.

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[Tony seals Pepper in the Mark 42 armor, then she saves him from falling debris] Pepper Potts: I got you!
Tony Stark: I got you first!

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Operator: Stark Secure Server: now transferring to all known receivers.
Tony Stark: Pepper, it's me. I've got a lot of apologies to make and not a lot of time, so... first off. I'm so sorry I put you in harm's way. That was selfish and stupid and it won't happen again. Also, it's Christmas time. The rabbit's too big. Done. Sorry. And I'm sorry in advance because... I can't come home yet. [pauses]
Tony Stark: I need to find this guy. You gotta stay safe. That's all I know. I just stole a poncho from a wooden Indian.

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The Mandarin: A true story about fortune cookies. They look Chinese. They sound... Chinese. But they're actually an American invention. Which is why they're hollow, full of lies, and leave a bad taste in the mouth. [smashes fortune cookies on the table with his fist]
The Mandarin: My disciples just destroyed another cheap American knockoff: the Chinese Theatre. Mr. President, I know this must be getting frustrating, but this season of terror is drawing to a close. And don't worry. The 'Big One' is coming: your graduation.

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Tony Stark: I'm gonna find a heavy-duty comm sat now, I need your login.
Colonel James Rhodes: It's same as it's always been, WarMachine68.
Tony Stark: And a password, please.
Colonel James Rhodes: Well, look, I gotta change it every time you hack in, Tony.
Tony Stark: It's not the '80s, nobody says hack anymore. Give me your login.
Colonel James Rhodes: WAR MACHINE ROX with an X, all caps.
Tony Stark: [laughs]
Colonel James Rhodes: Yeah, okay.
Tony Stark: That is so much better than Iron Patriot.

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Pepper Potts: Who's the hot mess now? [a call-back to Tony's early statement to Pepper that he was a piping hot mess.]
Tony Stark: That's debatable. But you look great like this, the repulsor and the sports bra...
Pepper Potts: I think I understand why you don't want to give up the suits. What have I got to complain about now?
Tony Stark: Well, it's me. You'll find something.

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[Tony sees Maya for the first time since their one-night stand in Switzerland] Tony Stark: Please don't tell me there's a 12-year-old kid in the car that I've never met.
Maya Hansen: He's 13. [Tony cringes]
Maya Hansen: No! I need your help.

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Colonel James Rhodes: Are you okay?
Tony Stark: I broke the crayon.

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[Pepper uses a repulsor on Killian] Tony Stark: Honey?
Pepper Potts: Oh my god... that was really violent...

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[Tony tries to embrace Pepper] Pepper Potts: Don't!
Tony Stark: It's okay...
Pepper Potts: I'm hot, I'll hurt you!
Tony Stark: [touches Pepper]No, you won't. See? Not hot.
Pepper Potts: Am I going to be okay?
Tony Stark: No. You're in a relationship with me, nothing will ever be okay. But I had this twenty years ago when I was drunk, I can sort it out. I fix stuff.

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[Tony sets a fire in the diner's kitchen to keep out Brandt, she just walks right through it] Tony Stark: You walked right into this one: I've dated hotter chicks than you.
Brandt: [scoffs]Is that all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?
Tony Stark: Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography. [Tony ducks out the back as his hidden booby-trap blows up the kitchen, killing Brandt]

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Harley Keener: Admit it, you need me. We're connected.
Tony Stark: What I need is for you to go home, be with your mom, keep your trap shut, guard the suit, and stay connected to the telephone, 'cause if I call you, you better pick up.
Tony Stark: [about to get in car]Can you feel that? We're done here. Move out of the way or I'm gonna run you over. Bye, kid. [Tony gets in car, but Harley continues to stand next to it. Tony rolls down window]
Tony Stark: I'm sorry, kid, you did good.
Harley Keener: So you're just gonna leave me here? Like my dad? [Tony pauses]
Tony Stark: [Casually]Yeah. [Tony pauses again]
Tony Stark: Wait, you're guilt tripping me aren't you? [Harley buries head in coat]
Harley Keener: [Innocently]I'm cold.
Tony Stark: [Mimicking Harley]I can tell. You know how I can tell?
Tony Stark: [Sarcastically]Cause' we're connected! [Tony drives away]
Harley Keener: [Normal voice]It was worth a shot.

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[after Tony Stark incapacitates almost all the Mandarin's guards, the last one quickly surrenders] Reluctant AIM Guard: Honestly, I hate working here. They are so weird. [Tony waves goodbye, the guard runs out]

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Pepper Potts: I'm taking a shower.
Tony Stark: Okay.
Pepper Potts: And you're gonna join me.
Tony Stark: Better.

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[from trailer] Tony Stark: I'm Tony Stark. I build neat stuff, got a great girl, occasionally save the world. So why can't I sleep?

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Jarvis: Mark 42 inbound. [Stark sees the MK42 armor flying toward the battlefield]
Tony Stark: I'll be damned. The prodigal son returns. [Stark summons Mark 42 to come to him, but it hits a pole and breaks into pieces]
Tony Stark: Whatever.
Aldrich Killian: You really didn't deserve her, Tony. It's a pity. I was so close to having her... perfect. [jumps down to confront Tony]
Tony Stark: OK, OK, wait, wait, slow down, slow down! You're right... I don't deserve her. Here's where you're wrong: she was already perfect. [Stark summons the Mark 42 pieces to assemble on Killian and attach him against the wall]
Tony Stark: Jarvis, do me a favor and blow Mark 42.
Aldrich Killian: NOOO! [the suit explodes]

Movie / TV: Iron Man 3
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[last lines] Tony Stark: [narrates]My armor was never a distraction or a hobby, it was a cocoon, and now I'm a changed man. You can take away my house, all my tricks and toys, but one thing you can't take away - I am Iron Man.

Movie / TV: Iron Man 3
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Tony Stark: So, uhh, who's home?
Harley Keener: Well, my mom already left for the diner, and dad went to 7-Eleven to get scratchers... I guess he won, 'cause that was six years ago.
Tony Stark: Hmm... which happens, dads leave, no need to be a pussy about it, here's what I need... [pauses]
Tony Stark: A laptop, a digital watch, a cell phone, the pneumatic actuator from your bazooka over there, a map of town, a big spring, and a tuna fish sandwich.
Harley Keener: What's in it for me?
Tony Stark: Salvation. What's his name?
Harley Keener: Who?
Tony Stark: The kid that bullies you at school. What's his name?
Harley Keener: How'd you know that?
Tony Stark: I got just the thing. [Stark ejects a flare canister from one of Mark 42's panels]
Tony Stark: This is a pi±ata for a cricket. I'm kidding, it's a very powerful weapon. Point it away from your face, press the button on top. It discourages bullying. Non-lethal, just to cover one's ass. Deal. Deal? What'd you say? [Stark tries to make Harley grab the canister]
Harley Keener: Deal. [Stark gives Harley the canister]
Tony Stark: What's your name?
Harley Keener: Harley. And you're...
Tony Stark: The mechanic. Tony. [pauses]
Tony Stark: You know what keeps going through my head? Where's my sandwich?

Movie / TV: Iron Man 3
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[After end-credits. Tony reaches home]
Tony Stark: Jarvis.
Jarvis : [distorted] Welcome home, Sir. [Jarvis cuts out]
[Tony notices a figure by the window looking outside]
Unknown Man: "I am Iron Man." Think you're the only superhero in the world? Mr. Stark, you've become part of a bigger universe. You just don't know it yet.
Stark : Who the hell are you?
[The man faces Tony as he walks into the light]
Fury : Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Stark: [nonchalantly] Ah.
Fury : I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
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[Stane pursues Stark to high altitudes. Iron Monger grabs Iron Man's thruster moments later.]
Obadiah Stane/Iron Monger: You had a great idea, Tony, but my suit is more advanced in every way!
Iron Man: Really? How did you solve the icing problem?
Obadiah Stane/Iron Monger: Icing problem?
[Ice forms over Stane's suit, the "eyes" flicker and go out, and its thrusters shut off]
Iron Man: Might want to look into it. [Thumps Stane on the helmet]

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
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Engineer: Mr. Stane. Sir, we've explored what you've asked of us and it seems as though there's a little hiccup. Actually, um...
Obadiah Stane: A hiccup?
Engineer: Yes, see to power the suit... sir, the technology doesn't actually exist. So it...
Obadiah Stane: Wait, wait, the technology? [gestures towards the Arc Reactor] William, William... here is the technology! I've asked you to simply make it smaller.
Engineer: Yes, sir, and that's what we're trying to do, but... honestly, it's impossible-
Obadiah Stane: [yelling] TONY STARK WAS ABLE TO BUILD THIS IN A CAVE! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!
Engineer: Well, I'm sorry. I'm not Tony Stark.

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
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Jim Rhodes: You're not a soldier.
Tony Stark: Damn right I'm not — I'm an army.

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Tony Stark: [After seeing the gold 3-D render of his suit] A little ostentatious, don't you think?
Jarvis: [dripping with sarcasm] What was I thinking? You're usually so discreet.
Tony Stark: Tell you what. Throw a little hot-rod red in there.
Jarvis: Oh yes. That should help you keep a low profile. [seconds later] The render is complete.
Tony Stark: [upon seeing the new render] Hey, I like it. Fabricate it, paint it.
Jarvis: Beginning automated assembly. Estimated completion time is five hours.
Tony Stark: Don't wait up for me, honey.

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
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[Tony Stark addresses a press conference]
Tony Stark: I never got to say goodbye to my father. There's questions I would've asked him. I would've asked him how he felt about what his company did, if he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts. Or maybe he was every inch of man we remember from the newsreels. I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that I had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero-accountability.
Press Reporter #1: Mr. Stark, what happened over there?
Stark: I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark Industries. [reporters become agitated]

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
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Tony Stark: [To a dying Yinsen, as he attempts a breakout] We gotta go. Come on, move with me. We have a plan, and we're going to stick to it.
Yinsen: This was always the plan, Stark.
Stark: Come on, you're going to go see your family. Get up.
Yinsen: My family is dead, Stark. And I'm going to see them now. [sees Tony is upset] It's okay. I want this. I want this.
Stark: Thank you for saving me.
Yinsen: Don't waste it. Don't waste your life, Stark. [dies]

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
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[After Stark's one night stand with Christine]
Pepper Potts: I have your clothes here; they've been dry cleaned and pressed. And there's a car waiting for you outside that will take you anywhere you'd like to go.
Christine Everheart: You must be the famous Pepper Potts.
Pepper Potts: [smiling] Indeed I am.
Everheart: After all these years, Tony still has you picking up the dry cleaning.
Potts: I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires. Including, occasionally, taking out the trash. [still smiling] Will that be all?

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
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Christine Everheart: Mr. Stark, you've been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?
Tony Stark: Absolutely ridiculous, I don't paint.
Everheart: What do you say to your other nickname, "The Merchant of Death"?
Stark: That's not bad.

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
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[the Four Musketeers and Phillipe are trapped by riflemen at the other end of the hallway]

Aramis: D'Artagnan... They're young Musketeers. They've been weaned on our legends. They revere us. It is an advantage.

Porthos: Yes. Why don't we charge them?

D'Artagnan: I trained these men. They will fight to the death. But if we must die - if WE must die - let it be like this.
[He draws his sword and points it at the floor. Aramis, Porthos, and Athos, join their swords with his]

Athos: One for all. All for one.

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[Athos and Aramis hear Porthos scream]

Athos: What happened?

Porthos: Kidney stones. It hurts when I piss. It hurts when I shit. I'm just a fat old fart with nothing to live for anymore. I'm going to hang myself, as soon as I'm sober.

Movie / TV: Iron Man
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[as the Four Musketeers and Phillipe charge]

Louis: Shoot!

Lt. Andre: Magnificent valor...

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[Porthos brings three wenches to Aramis' apartment, but they find him at prayer]

Porthos: Sorry, my dears. You would have enjoyed it too. He's hung like a donkey.

Wench: So are you.

Porthos: Really? He's been asleep for so long, I've forgotten about him.

Movie / TV: Iron Man
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[a rioting crowd throws rotten food at D'Artagnan; he draws his sword and slashes the fruit in mid-air, then skewers a tomato. The crowd is awed into silence. He bites the tomato, then grimaces and spits it out]

D'Artagnan: You are right. It is rotten. I will speak to the King myself. You have my word.

Movie / TV: Iron Man
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[as the Four Musketeers and Phillipe charge]

Louis: Shoot!

Lt. Andre: Magnificent valor...

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[Athos and Aramis hear Porthos scream]
Athos: What happened?
Porthos: Kidney stones. It hurts when I piss. It hurts when I ****. I'm just a fat old fart with nothing to live for anymore. I'm going to hang myself, as soon as I'm sober.

Movie / TV: Iron Man
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