Grim and Evil Quotes

Billy: [meeting the grim reaper] It's Santa! Santa Clause!
Mandy: That's not Santa Clause, you stooge! That's the Grim Reaper...
Billy: [pause] ... Do I still get presents?
Grim: Um... No... Actually, I'm here for the Hamster
Billy: Ooooh! You brought presents for Mr. Snuggles?
Grim: No... I'm Taking him Away.
Billy: To the North Pole?

TV Show: Grim and Evil
Mandy: Grim, everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.
Grim: The whole childhood wonder stage just blew right past you, didn't it?

TV Show: Grim and Evil
Master Control: [monitor activates] I am Master Control, computer of the future.
Billy: Aaahh! [jumps on Grim's arms]
Grim: That'd better be sweat dripping down your leg, boy.
Master Control: I am programmed to run all of the machines at this attraction. My intelligence is beyond measure, I know everything there is to know, and I'm not too shabby at checkers.
Grim: Wait, how can you know *everything*?
Master Control: I just do, so there.
Grim: If you know everything, then what's the meaning of life?
Master Control: Life has no meaning, only machine intelligence is truly important on a cosmic scale.
Grim: Hmm, I didn't think he'd get that one right.
Billy: Oh, yeah? Then what's my favorite color?
Master Control: Blue.
Billy: What's the best kind of bean?
Master Control: Pinto.
Billy: Why is the sky blue?
Master Control: Because of the refraction of sunlight through the water droplets in the sky.
Billy: Why do I ask so many questions?
Master Control: Because you're stupid!
Billy: What's the color of my underwear?
Master Control: White... [raises an eyebrow]
Master Control: ...with pink frilly lace.
Billy: [checks in his pants] Wow. It really does know everything.

TV Show: Grim and Evil
Santa Skarr: And what do you want Santa to bring you, Cassie?
Cassie: A cool pair of wings so I can fly!
Santa Skarr: Yes. And Santa wants another $1.50 an hour, but apparently he's not getting that either! See Cassie, deception is also a gift.

TV Show: Grim and Evil
[Mandy has poured Grim, piece by piece, out of her backpack]
Grim: [annoyed] Okay, we need to talk about this backpack thing. It's very demeaning. [all of his bones form back together into his old self and his robe appears on his body]
Grim: I'm the Grim Reaper, for goodness sake. [he takes out his scythe]
Grim: I used to have a chariot of 400 burning horses. My arrival on the scene would be a raging thunderclap of fear! [Mandy walks away to Billy's house and Grim follows]
Grim: Now it's, Hey, have you seen Grim? Yeah, I think he's wedged between a history textbook and a tuna fish sandwich. [they enter the house, passing Billy who is watching TV and yelling Destroy us all! repeatedly, eventually arriving in the basement where Grim's trunk is]
Grim: And I'm pretty sure the guys in the underworld accounting are laughing at me behind my back. Those guys are turbo-nerds! I bet none of them had a date since the 1800s. [he looks down into the ground]
Grim: Hear that, you dateless turbo-nerds? I'm on to you! Hmph!

TV Show: Grim and Evil
[Grim jumped into the body of a cat]
Grim: [sings] Look at me, I'm a kitty cat/I wear a bowl of peanuts for a hat/If I eat them all I will get fat/But look at me! I'm a kitty CAAAAAAAAAT!

TV Show: Grim and Evil