Grand Theft Auto Quotes

BJ Smith: There is nothing more invigorating than holding a mans head in your hands and looking him in the eye and saying I could kill you in 1 second old man and he says I got a wife and you say give me all the money in your cash register.

Movie: Grand Theft Auto
Diablo: You gonna die now, Homes!

Movie: Grand Theft Auto
Joey: Alright, just the guy I need to talk to! Alright, there's a car stuffed with a stiff at the cafe near Callahan Point. One of the Fiorellis thought he was a wise guy, so he got what he had coming to him. Take the corpse to the crusher in Harwood, alright?

Movie: Grand Theft Auto
Lazlow Jones: Hello, this is Chatterbox. Please be a normal human being...
Caller: Lazlow, your show sucks!
Lazlow Jones: Dude your going to get no argument from me. Today's show is rubbish! What do you want to talk about?
Caller: Why can't I eat people?
Lazlow Jones: Okay, who says you can't? What, are you a socialist or something?
Lazlow Jones: Next caller!

Movie: Grand Theft Auto
Ray Machowski: Hey kid, over here! An old army buddy of mine runs a business in Rockford. We saw action in Nicaragua, back when the country knew what it was doing. Some Cartel scum roughed him up yesterday, said they'd be back for some of his stock today. He's gonna need some back-up and in return he'll give you knock-down rates on any hardware you buy. I'd go myself but the old sciatica's playing up again [cough cough]
Ray Machowski: so, eerr-hhrrmmm, good luck.

Movie: Grand Theft Auto
Sweet Johnson: [CJ and Sweet are driving down to Grove Street during the riots] So who's the weird Brit?
Carl Johnson: What? Oh, Maccer? He got a little problem he can't control.
Sweet Johnson: What kinda problem?
Carl Johnson: He can't stop, you know, givin' himself a little bit.
Sweet Johnson: What, you mean he likes to consult Professor Hans Jerkov?
Carl Johnson: [laughs] Yeah, regularly.
Sweet Johnson: Spank the monkey?
Carl Johnson: Yeah.
Sweet Johnson: Take Palm-ela out?
Carl Johnson: Quit it! [laughs]
Sweet Johnson: Burp the worm?
Carl Johnson: Enough, man!

Movie: Grand Theft Auto