Goodness Gracious Me Quotes

Aubergine-Woman: I can make it at home for nothing!

TV Show: Goodness Gracious Me
[a Buddhist, from Rat Killing Company, comes home to a woman to get rid of her mice, but instead he sits down on the floor and closes his eyes]
Woman: So what do you use then; poison?
Buddhist: Poison - no poison.
Woman: Oh, you are going to smoke them out.
Buddhist: Smoke - no smoke.
Woman: Then how are you going to kill them?
Biddhist: Kill? Buddha teaches us, that we are all clever human beings. We don't have to kill.
Woman: Well, how are you going to get rid of them then?
Buddhist: I intend to make them think about their actions.

TV Show: Goodness Gracious Me
[Rings on a door]
The Guru Maharishi Yogi: Hello, do you want to be a Hindu?
Woman: Yes, I have always wanted to become a Hindu.
The Guru Maharishi Yogi: Well, you can't! Have a nice day!

TV Show: Goodness Gracious Me