Gilmore Girls Quotes

Kirk: [Kirk runs into Lukes Diner yelling] My girlfriend's the whore! My girlfriend's the whore!
Lorelai: Oh, great, now I'm not even the town whore.

TV Show: Gilmore Girls
Lorelai: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Gilmores of our lives.

TV Show: Gilmore Girls
Luke: Crazy people. Whole town should be medicated and put in a rec room with ping pong tables and hand puppets.

TV Show: Gilmore Girls
Luke: [Luke is buying self-help books but doesn't want Andrew to see them] What are you doing?
Andrew: I have to ring them up.
Luke: I ' ll just tell you the prices. This one is... $24.99.
Andrew: That high?
Luke: They're your prices!
Andrew: Can I just see the book?
Luke: I'm reading you the book. It says right here. [looks at the price again]
Luke: Oh, wait - that's the Canadian price. $14.99.
Andrew: Will you just let me scan the book?
Luke: When you scan the book, do you see the title?
Andrew: Yes.
Luke: Then no.
Andrew: Luke, come on! What do you got there, porn?
Luke: You sell porn?
Andrew: No!
Luke: You think I brought my own porn in here to buy?
Andrew: I don't know what you're doing. I just need to scan the books.
Luke: [hands Andrew some money] This should cover it.
Andrew: A hundred bucks? That's way too much!
Luke: Take it. [he leaves, then comes back in]
Luke: Bag. [Andrew hands him one, he leaves again]

TV Show: Gilmore Girls
Marty: Okay. I remember something about Rome. Rome. Rome. Romans live there. Audrey Hepburn took a holiday there. It's the name of a B52s song.
Rory: Different Rome.
Marty: Okay. That's it. I can't remember. College is breaking my spirit. Every single day telling me things I don't know, it's making me feel stupid.

TV Show: Gilmore Girls
Taylor Doose: The bottom line is that too many birds are landing atop the streetlights and relieving themselves on helpless passersby. And I daresay that some of these birds seem to be doing it on purpose.
Babette Dell: You get dumped on, Taylor?
Taylor Doose: It's not just me.
Luke Danes: Hey, if anybody has a picture of Taylor getting dumped on, I'll pay top dollar.
Kirk Gleason: I'll check the internet.
Miss Patty: Taylor, all animals have to... you know. How are you gonna stop birds from doing that?
Taylor Doose: Easy. You put sharp metal spikes on the top of the fixtures. Then when they land, pow! They're shish kebab!
Rory Gilmore: That's cruel.
Babette Dell: You can't do that.
Andrew: I'd rather have bird crap fall on my head.
Lorelai Gilmore: There it is, our new town slogan.
Rory Gilmore: I like it.
Lorelai Gilmore: I see coffee mugs, T-shirts.
Rory Gilmore: Don't forget the stuffed shish-kebab birds.
Lorelai Gilmore: That moan when you squeeze them!

TV Show: Gilmore Girls