G.B.F. Quotes

'Topher: Does THIS feel straight to you?
Tanner Daniels: It does, actually. You Mormons are a horny, repressed people!
'Topher: You have no idea.

Movie: G.B.F.
McKenzie Pryce: Caprice, mission accomplished?
Caprice Winters: Uh, not yet. [to the other protestors]
Caprice Winters: Ok, y'all made your point. I made mine. Now we all have a choice. You can stay out here, bored out of your minds and freezing your asses off with this crazy bitch, or you can come inside and dance your asses off with this crazy bitch. I mean, do you really want to go to Heaven if it's filled with nothing but psychos like her? [all the other protestors apart from McKenzie and Hamilton go into the prom]
Caprice Winters: That's what I thought. Le'go.
McKenzie Pryce: [calling after everyone]Suit yourselves! Run towards damnation! I'll see you all in Hell! I mean, I won't see you 'cause I won't be there, but there's probably, like, a window or something where people in Heaven can look down to people in Hell! And I'll see you through that Hell... window... thing!
Hamilton: That sucks, man. How about an H.J.?

Movie: G.B.F.
Soledad Braunstein: You're the secret gay - but you're not even that fabulous.

Movie: G.B.F.
Fawcett Brooks: This is an 'A' and gay conversation, so kindly see your next Tuesday out of it.

Movie: G.B.F.
Tanner Daniels: You're doing it again.
Fawcett Brooks: What?
Tanner Daniels: That noise girls make when they see two gay guys together.
Christian: Yeah, it's the same annoying sound people make when they see cute animals dressed in human clothes.
Fawcett Brooks: Ew. Gross. Barf. Is that better?
Christian: Much.

Movie: G.B.F.
Fawcett Brooks: You wanna stay a four-pack queer forever? Let's go!

Movie: G.B.F.
Sophie Aster: [to Tanner and Brent]You know what? You both have become so much more than these bitches' sexless accessories. You've become full-blown tools, in EVERY sense of the word.

Movie: G.B.F.
Tanner Daniels: I-I-I could be bi.
Mr. Daniels: [laughing]Yeah-hah-hah, right!
Mr. Daniels: [patronizingly]Of course you can.

Movie: G.B.F.
Brent Van Camp: Instead of risking having you as my B.F., I'd rather keep you forever as my B.F.F.
Tanner Daniels: Go 'F' yourself.

Movie: G.B.F.
McKenzie Pryce: [reading an Internet posting titled Why you should have a gay best friend]I can't believe our godless peers read this blasphemy. They're trying to make sin seem in.
'Shley Osgoode: I don't know. Don't you ever think it would be kind of neat to meet one? Like a real, live gay?
McKenzie Pryce: What?
'Shley Osgoode: You know, we cold bring him to Youth Group or take him out for milkshakes or something. And then, if we're all super-duper nice to him, maybe he'd realize that the only person he should be gay for is Jesus.
McKenzie Pryce: 'Shley, you can't just befriend these people. They're out to steal our brothers, boyfriends, our gerbils, all as part of a secret agenda to spread their gaybies all over America.
'Shley Osgoode: Aw. Gay babies?
McKenzie Pryce: No! Like... gay rabies.

Movie: G.B.F.
Caprice Winters: Look, we all know you're gayer than a very special episode of Glee.

Movie: G.B.F.
'Topher: For a face like yours, I'll out myself to the entire Mormon Tabernacle choir.

Movie: G.B.F.
Tanner Daniels: [voiceover]Ever notice how in high school there's just something about being first, like that girl who's always first to raise her hand, or that first kid to own every new cutting edge iThingy? There's so much pressure to be a trend-setter, a pioneer. Well, not me. Tanner Daniels was just like any other average comic-book geek, more than content to fly under the radar and leave the trailblazing to the others. After all, of the many firsts my peers were vying for, one still remained conspicuously up for grabs. Never in the history of North Gateway High had any student admitted out loud to being an honest-to-goodness, card-carrying, proud - or even slightly modest - homosexual.

Movie: G.B.F.
Sophie Aster: Like, I will find a real live gay, even if I have to drag the little teen queen out of the closet myself.

Movie: G.B.F.
Tanner Daniels: Is it just me or is she, like, the worst Mormon ever?
Fawcett Brooks: It is SO not just you. She's cray-cray.

Movie: G.B.F.
Tanner Daniels: Maybe everyone secretly wants a G.B.F. Even moms.

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Caprice Winters: This hack-tivist doesn't give a flying fairy about gay rights. She just did it to gain the advantage with you.
Fawcett Brooks: Oh, you mean like what you did with that male-bate, Christian?
Caprice Winters: Whatever! At least I tried to bride him with sex. I treated him like an actual human being and not some asexual, neutered little purse puppy.
Fawcett Brooks: Come on, Tan. I've have enough bad dinner theater dramatics for one day. We've got a revolution to plan.
Caprice Winters: Do not come for my craft, bitch!
Fawcett Brooks: Do not come for my BITCH, bitch!

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[Sophie and Glenn approach the ticket table for Fawcett's cool prom]Sophie Aster: [to Tanner]I hear you and Spigot here are denying certain less-than-favorable people tickets.
Fawcett Brooks: Relax, So-Fat. You and Memoirs of a Gay Nerd are allowed to come. I'm giving you a temporary pass to the cool kid's table.
Sophie Aster: We wouldn't come if you paid us, Fawcett - or should I say Fascist?
Fawcett Brooks: It's your social funeral, sweetie.
Sophie Aster: I'll start mourning now.

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Brent Van Camp: All the teen and tween rags agree - the hottest new trend sweeping schools worldwide is the G.B.F.
Sophie Aster: G.B.F.?
Brent Van Camp: Gay best friend. Every celeb has one, so every teen girl needs one, and pretty soon all three prom-queen front-runners will be battling it out for my attention.

Movie: G.B.F.
Tanner Daniels: [voiceover, on the three divas who rule the school]Like neighboring warlords in a third-world country, they maintain an uneasy balance of power, friendly but always vigilant of anything that could upset the truce and create all-out social warfare.

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Brent Van Camp: P.S. your abs ain't too bad, Mr. Four-Pack.

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Tanner Daniels: [voiceover]We had little luck chatting up dudes on Guydar that night, but the next day Soledad and her blossoming swarm of fruit flies were preparing to put the app to much better use.

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Fawcett Brooks: As for queen, they've got us in a three-way.

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'Topher: Dude, in two years I'm gonna go on my mission, in four years I'll probably be married with a bunch of red-headed rugrats running around, so why don't you sit back, relax, and let me get this out of my system?

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Fawcett Brooks: Don't think me presumptuous when I say bottoms up.
Tanner Daniels: Ugh! This tastes like ass!
Fawcett Brooks: Mm-hm. Perfect for you.

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Tanner Daniels: I thought carbs were like gay kryptonite or something.
Fawcett Brooks: Alcohol is the one exception. Duh. Now, down it, bitch.

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Mrs. Van Camp: [watching Brokeback Mountain with Brent]Heath! Don't stand on your pride. Get in the tent with Jake, for crying out loud! Good. Get in there. Snuggle up. Snuggle up for warmth. There you go. Oh, it looks like they're waking back up. Huh. Uh-oh. Here we go. Game on. Ha. You know, I do sense an affection there. I mean, I really do feel they care about one another. Oh, my. Well. I guess necessity is the mother of invention. I mean... You know, it's funny, I guess back then they didn't even need... need to use protection really, right?

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'Shley Osgoode: [pulling Glenn aside at a drunken house party]So, your... your friend Tanner won't tell anything about the J's.
Glenn Cho: The... the... the who?
'Shley Osgoode: The... the H.J's and the B.J's - pretty much any of the J's - but I've got an idea: You are gonna show me how.
Glenn Cho: Oh.
'Shley Osgoode: And it's not gonna count because you're, like, supes gay-mosexual.
Glenn Cho: Oh-h, yeah, right, but...
'Shley Osgoode: Shh! Just pretend I'm, like, some super-hot guy - like David Archuleta. [throws herself upon Glenn]
Glenn Cho: Oh... oh, David Archuleta? David, don't you worry. I'm gonna teach you all about the H.J's and the... the B.J.'s and the Jay-Z's and the J. J. Abrams.

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McKenzie Pryce: Sorry, Ellen Jr., but you can't take your poor man's Portia to this dance. Try the pro-sodomy prom.

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Tanner Daniels: You know, I actually started to believe that you were my friend, but what is this, really? Am I... am I just some tool to you, a... a... a wrench so that you can screw over Caprice and 'Shley?
Fawcett Brooks: Wrenches don't screw things. God, you ARE gay.

Movie: G.B.F.