Family Quotes

Diane Simmons: Our suspect may look something like this. And we have received an anonymous tip with a new lead!
Tom Tucker: We now go live with Hispanic reporter Maria J... j...
Diane Simmons: Jimenez.
Tom Tucker: I know how to say it!

TV Show: Family
Leroy Brown: [Brown comes out with only a towel and a shower cap on] Mable? Where Mable at? Mable?
Cora: Mr. Brown! Calm down!
Leroy Brown: Ain't no calm you ain't go be shootin at my dog again! Mable! Mable "Madea" Simmons: Brown what the? [Madea laughs continuously] Mable "Madea" Simmons: Brown what the hell is wrong with you get out my yard. I don't know who got alzheimer's you or your wife? You look a mess! Get the hell outta my yard
Leroy Brown: You better stop messin- [gets cut off by madea] Mable "Madea" Simmons: You better get the hell outta my yard monkey!
Leroy Brown: You know what! Imma call the police on you! Mable "Madea" Simmons: Do i look like I'm scared of the po po Brown? Call the po po, I aint scared of the po po!
Leroy Brown: You got one more time you big ol nasty whale. Mable "Madea" Simmons: You the one standing there lookin like a BIG BLACK SEAL. [Starts making seal noises]
Leroy Brown: Mable, you better not fool wit my dog again. Take this boot and bust you upside yo head wit it. Mable "Madea" Simmons: Thats a baoot in ya hand I thought it was your arm! [Madea starts laughing continuously] Mable "Madea" Simmons: Brown, you so black I would shoot ya but your skin just teflon, ain't no bullet go get through it.
Leroy Brown: You ain't got now another time. Mable "Madea" Simmons: Just get the hell outta my yard you pig in a blanket! Go put some lotion on them knee caps!
Leroy Brown: Ain't nuttin' wrong with my knees, you stink anyway. Mable "Madea" Simmons: You the one that's mursty - I can smell you over here.

TV Show: Family
Mr. Rogers: Hello, neighbor. I'm glad we're together again. [bell rings]
Mr. Rogers: Oh! I think I hear a friend traveling.
Stewie Griffin: Actually it's your mortal enemy Stewie.
Mr. Rogers: W-what the?
Stewie Griffin: I wouldn't bother visiting the neighborhood of make-believe today Mr. Rogers, I dare say you find it quite in ruins.
Mr. Rogers: What? [Mr. Rogers looks out and all are dead and the cat is on fire]
Cat: [meowing] Skin graft! [meowing]
Mr. Rogers: Oh, my God!
Stewie Griffin: That's right! All dead. And now Mr. Rogers ? Fred - may as well drop blood formalities - I'm going to kill you anyway!
Mr. Rogers: No, please... don't!
Stewie Griffin: How ironic ? Rogers - it almost rhymes with... eliminate.
Mr. Rogers: No! [Stewie shoots him many times with his gun]
Stewie Griffin: [wakes up] Eh, what, what? What the devil?
Lois Griffin: It's okay. Stewie we're just tucking you to sleep.
Mr. Rogers: But now it's time for you to meet Mr. Death.
Stewie Griffin: [wakes up from nightmare] Ahh!

TV Show: Family
Woodrow Snider: Let's go to the family sauna.
Mitch Snider: Oh you have a sauna.
Woodrow Snider: Uh not really, we just get naked in front of the oven.

TV Show: Family
[Richard Dawson's farewell speech on the June 14, 1985 finale]
Richard Dawson: So, the Mackins were our final winning family, and they've won $5,504, and I'm proud of 'em. I've had the most incredible luck in my career. I've done lots and lots of jobs, and I've never, ever had a job like "Family Feud." I've never DREAMED I would ever have a job where so many people could touch me and I could touch them. And it was... there was a great magic about this show that I've never seen on any other show. I want to publicly acknowledge Howard Felsher, who is our Executive Producer. He was a producer in the beginning of the show, and he helped steer and guide the way that we went. And he and I fall a lot of times, but I tell you that he is important and I should acknowledge him, because he was the one, with me, that, we said, "Let ANYBODY come on this show, anyone that can play this game, no matter what color or creed, no matter if they're in a wheelchair or they have no sight." And we've HAD everybody on this show, and he was very, very important in that and I acknowledge and thank him for it. I thank my crew, and I thanked my director already. I have the best staff you've ever dreamed of. You can't... but you don't have to dream of them, 'cause I'm gonna take them with me. Even if I never work again, they'll just be near me. They are so special and wonderful. ABC - Jackie Smith, Wally Weltman, Joe C. Albott - they kept us on the air probably a year more than they should have, 'cause we weren't really helping them. You know, our ratings weren't that good. They were *so* great. They buried themselves carrying us, and I love them for that, not that I wanted to hurt 'em, but I... because I love 'em. They were good people. There were people I know that got upset that I kissed people; I kissed them for luck and love, that's all. That's what my mother did to me. There were people upset that I would embrace or hug someone of another color. The first tim

TV Show: Family