Ed Wood Quotes
[ Bride of the Monster wrap party. Mariachi band plays "Que sera sera" ]
Tor Johnson : Mister Bunny, what's wrong? I heard you were becoming a lady.
Bunny Breckinridge : Oh, that. Mexico was... a nightmare. We got into a car accident... he was killed. Our luggage... was stolen. The surgeon... turned out to be... a quack. If it hadn't been for these men... [ gestures to the Mariachi band ]
Bunny Breckinridge : I don't know... how I would have... survived,
Tor Johnson : Mister Bunny, what's wrong? I heard you were becoming a lady.
Bunny Breckinridge : Oh, that. Mexico was... a nightmare. We got into a car accident... he was killed. Our luggage... was stolen. The surgeon... turned out to be... a quack. If it hadn't been for these men... [ gestures to the Mariachi band ]
Bunny Breckinridge : I don't know... how I would have... survived,
Movie: Ed Wood
Dolores Fuller : [ arriving for her scenes in "Bride of the Monster" ] Well, I see the usual cast of misfits and dope addicts are here.
Movie: Ed Wood
[ Ed is cross-dressed on the set of "Glen or Glenda" ]
Dolores Fuller : How can you just walk wound like that in front of all these people?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Well hon, nobody's bothered but you. Look around.
Dolores Fuller : Ed, this isn't the real world. You've surrounded yourself with a bunch of WEIRDOS!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Oh say it a little louder, I don't think Bela heard you!
Dolores Fuller : How can you just walk wound like that in front of all these people?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Well hon, nobody's bothered but you. Look around.
Dolores Fuller : Ed, this isn't the real world. You've surrounded yourself with a bunch of WEIRDOS!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Oh say it a little louder, I don't think Bela heard you!
Movie: Ed Wood
[ Bela, in his Dracula costume, hears the doorbell on Halloween night ]
Bela Lugosi : Children! I love children.
Bela Lugosi : Children! I love children.
Movie: Ed Wood
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : It's a guaranteed blockbuster.
Ed Reynolds : Hmm. Ah, I understand this science fiction is popular, but uh, don't the big hits always have big stars?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Well we have a big star: Bela Lugosi.
Ed Reynolds : Bela Lugosi? Why, I though he passed on.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Yes. Yes he did. But... [ produces tiny spool of film ]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I've got the last footage he ever shot.
Ed Reynolds : Well, it doesn't look like very much.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Mr. Reynolds, this is the acorn that will grow a great oak! I'll just get a double to finish his scenes, and we'll release it as "Bela Lugosi's Final Film"!
Ed Reynolds : Hmm. Ah, I understand this science fiction is popular, but uh, don't the big hits always have big stars?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Well we have a big star: Bela Lugosi.
Ed Reynolds : Bela Lugosi? Why, I though he passed on.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Yes. Yes he did. But... [ produces tiny spool of film ]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I've got the last footage he ever shot.
Ed Reynolds : Well, it doesn't look like very much.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Mr. Reynolds, this is the acorn that will grow a great oak! I'll just get a double to finish his scenes, and we'll release it as "Bela Lugosi's Final Film"!
Movie: Ed Wood
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : [ talking on phone ] Bunny? We're making another movie! Yes. I got the Baptist Church of Beverly Hills to put up the cash!
Paul Marco : [ knocking on door ] Ed, I got the Lugosi doubles outside!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Bunny, I gotta go... [ Ed opens the door to find a short man, a fat man, and a Chinese man ]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : [ sighs, shakes head ] He's too short, he's too... tall, he's... just not going to work.
Paul Marco : Well, Ed. I was thinking like when Bela played Fu Manchu...
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : [ Pulls Paul aside ] [ wispering ]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Paul, that was Karloff.
Paul Marco : [ knocking on door ] Ed, I got the Lugosi doubles outside!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Bunny, I gotta go... [ Ed opens the door to find a short man, a fat man, and a Chinese man ]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : [ sighs, shakes head ] He's too short, he's too... tall, he's... just not going to work.
Paul Marco : Well, Ed. I was thinking like when Bela played Fu Manchu...
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : [ Pulls Paul aside ] [ wispering ]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Paul, that was Karloff.
Movie: Ed Wood
[ watching Tor Johnsson at his wrestling match ]
Bunny Breckinridge : Guess where I'm going next week.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I don't know. Where?
Bunny Breckinridge : Mexico. Guess what I'm doing when I get there.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I don't know. Lie on a beach.
Bunny Breckinridge : Wrong. I'm getting my first series of hormone injections. And when thos girls kick in, they're going to take out my organs, and make me a woman.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Are you serious?
Bunny Breckinridge : It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized: I have to take action! GOODBYE PENIS!
Dolores Fuller : [ obviously annoyed ] Could you please keep it down?
Bunny Breckinridge : Guess where I'm going next week.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I don't know. Where?
Bunny Breckinridge : Mexico. Guess what I'm doing when I get there.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I don't know. Lie on a beach.
Bunny Breckinridge : Wrong. I'm getting my first series of hormone injections. And when thos girls kick in, they're going to take out my organs, and make me a woman.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Are you serious?
Bunny Breckinridge : It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized: I have to take action! GOODBYE PENIS!
Dolores Fuller : [ obviously annoyed ] Could you please keep it down?
Movie: Ed Wood
Bela Lugosi : [ about to start filming at night ] "All right, lets shoot this fucker!"
Movie: Ed Wood
Nurse : Oh my goodness, you gave me the willies! You look like that Dracula guy.
Bela Lugosi : My name is Bela Lugosi... and I wish to commit myself.
Nurse : For what reason?
Bela Lugosi : I have been a drug addict for twenty years. I NEED HELP!
Bela Lugosi : My name is Bela Lugosi... and I wish to commit myself.
Nurse : For what reason?
Bela Lugosi : I have been a drug addict for twenty years. I NEED HELP!
Movie: Ed Wood
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I'm a movie director.
Tor Johnson : Movies? You mean like the Mickey Mouse?
Tor Johnson : Movies? You mean like the Mickey Mouse?
Movie: Ed Wood
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Say, let's get married.
Kathy O'Hara : Huh?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Right now. Let's go to Vegas.
Kathy O'Hara : But, Eddie, it's pouring and the car top is stuck.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Phooey. It's only a five hour drive and it'll probably stop by the time we get to the desert. Heck, it'll probably stop by the time we get around the corner. Let's go.
Kathy O'Hara : Huh?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Right now. Let's go to Vegas.
Kathy O'Hara : But, Eddie, it's pouring and the car top is stuck.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Phooey. It's only a five hour drive and it'll probably stop by the time we get to the desert. Heck, it'll probably stop by the time we get around the corner. Let's go.
Movie: Ed Wood
Photographer #1 : Whose crazy idea was it to bury him in the cape?
Photographer #2 : I heard it was in the will. It was how he wanted to be remembered.
Photographer #2 : I heard it was in the will. It was how he wanted to be remembered.
Movie: Ed Wood
Reverend Lemon : [ sees Ed come out in drag ] Mr. Wood, what do you think you're doing!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I'm directing.
Ed Reynolds : Not like *that* you're not.
Reverend Lemon : Remove that getup immediately. You shame our lord.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I'm directing.
Ed Reynolds : Not like *that* you're not.
Reverend Lemon : Remove that getup immediately. You shame our lord.
Movie: Ed Wood
Ed Reynolds : Before we start shooting, Mr. Wood, we have a few questions.
Reverend Lemon : Yes. The script contains numerous references to graverobbing. Now we find the concept of digging up consecrated ground to be highly offensive. It is blasphemy.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : What are you talking about, it's the premise of the movie. It's the title of the movie for Christ sakes.
Reverend Lemon : But Mr. Wood!
Ed Reynolds : Yes, about that title. It strikes us as very inflammatory. Why don't we change it to Plan 9 from Outer Space.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Huh. That's ridiculous.
Reverend Lemon : Yes. The script contains numerous references to graverobbing. Now we find the concept of digging up consecrated ground to be highly offensive. It is blasphemy.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : What are you talking about, it's the premise of the movie. It's the title of the movie for Christ sakes.
Reverend Lemon : But Mr. Wood!
Ed Reynolds : Yes, about that title. It strikes us as very inflammatory. Why don't we change it to Plan 9 from Outer Space.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Huh. That's ridiculous.
Movie: Ed Wood
Waiter : Hi, would you like some water?
Loretta King : No. No water. No liquids! I'm terribly allergic to them.
Loretta King : No. No water. No liquids! I'm terribly allergic to them.
Movie: Ed Wood
Bela Lugosi : Home? I have no home. Haunted... despised... living like an animal. The jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people... a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!
Movie: Ed Wood
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Dolores, I have 5 days to finish this picture. Don't get goofy on me.
Movie: Ed Wood
Ed Reynolds : [ referring to Tor Johnson ] Why did you give HIM all the dialog? He is unintelligible!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Look, Bela's dead and Vampira won't talk. I had to give somebody the dialog!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Look, Bela's dead and Vampira won't talk. I had to give somebody the dialog!
Movie: Ed Wood