Dracula - Dead and Loving It Quotes

Jonathan Harker: [having been told to drive a stake into Lucy] Oh, that's horrible. Is there no other way?
Van Helsing: One other. We could cut off her head, stuff her mouth with garlic and tear off her ears!
Jonathan Harker: [after a moment's thought] Give me the stake. [pauses again]
Jonathan Harker: No. No, I can't do it... you do it!
Van Helsing: It must be done by one who loved her in life!
Jonathan Harker: I only liked her!
Van Helsing: Close enough!

Movie: Dracula - Dead and Loving It
Lover at Picnic: Would you care for some wine?
Dracula: I never drink wine... oh, what the hell. Let me try it.

Movie: Dracula - Dead and Loving It
Martin: [throwing Renfield back into his cell] You'll stay in here 'til you rot! [locks door]
Martin: [Renfield starts sobbing and Martin comes in a second later] Well, you're free to go!
Renfield: Why? How?
Martin: Good behavior.
Renfield: But I've only been here for a moment.
Martin: For that moment, you were very good.

Movie: Dracula - Dead and Loving It
Renfield: Yes, I'm schh-eduled to meet Count Dracula.
Villager #1: [horrified] Dracula!
Villager #2: [horrified] Dracula!
Villager #3: [horrified] Dracula!
Villager #4: ...Schh-eduled?

Movie: Dracula - Dead and Loving It
[after he has inadvertently killed Dracula]
Renfield: Master... I'm sorry ! [he makes a happy face in the ashes]
Renfield: There... now you're looking like your old self again! [He breaks down crying]

Movie: Dracula - Dead and Loving It
[Dracula is hypnotizing a valet at the theatre where Doctor Seward is enjoying an opera]
Dracula: You vill tell Doctor Seward there is a message for him in the lobby... and you will remember nothing of what I tell you. [the valet goes to open Seward's chambers and nods her head. She opens the curtain to Seward's chambers and stands there with her mouth open for a few moments, then closes the curtain]
Usherette: [noticing Dracula standing there] Hello, can I help you sir?
Dracula: [mimicking her] Can I help you sir? [normally]
Dracula: What's wrong with you, why did you not tell him?
Usherette: About what?
Dracula: About the message!
Usherette: For whom?
Dracula: Never mind! I vill tell him myself. And for your miserable performance, you will receive no tip!
Usherette: No tip?
Dracula: Ah! That, you remember!

Movie: Dracula - Dead and Loving It