Daddy's Home Quotes

Dusty Mayron: So the King raised his mighty sword and rained steel down upon the Step King.
Brad Whitaker: But the Step King blocked it with his shield. And swung his cat o'nine tails into the King's smug face.
Dusty Mayron: Which the King easily brushed aside like the feather of a gull. And then the King did counter with a barrage of slashes and thrusts so fast and precise the Step King had no way to party.
Dylan: Yay!
Dusty Mayron: But he did. He did. He parried all of them. Easily. It was no big deal.
Dylan: Aww.
Brad Whitaker: Then he grabbed the King's sword right out of his hand and smashed it over his knee.
Dylan: Boo!
Dusty Mayron: That's when the King pulled out a pump-action Mossberg shotgun!
Brad Whitaker: Which is completely anachronistic. So if we're gonna be doing any time period, then the Step King just happened to be wearing Kevlar body armor.
Dusty Mayron: Concussion grenade!
Brad Whitaker: Hand grenade.
Dusty Mayron: Rocket launcher.
Brad Whitaker: Missile launcher.
Dusty Mayron: Air strike.
Brad Whitaker: Nuclear strike.
Dusty Mayron: Black hole.
Brad Whitaker: God.

Movie: Daddy's Home
Dusty Mayron: Hey, are you Roger?
Cool Dad: Nope.

Movie: Daddy's Home
Brad Whitaker: Eat my dust Dusty!

Movie: Daddy's Home
Brad Whitaker: I mean, kids at the end of the day, they know who's been around and, holy balls! [sees dusty]

Movie: Daddy's Home
Brad Whitaker: The step-king has had enough of the king's BULLSHIT!
Dusty Mayron: Brad said a bad word.

Movie: Daddy's Home
Dusty Mayron: [In a splendid and charming voice]103.6... Thhhe paaandaa!

Movie: Daddy's Home
Dusty Mayron: Dusty: It looks like we got our self's a dad-off, Brad.

Movie: Daddy's Home
Dusty Mayron: [Watching Frozen]You gotta pause it man.
Griff: No I don't wanna ruin the momentum.
Dusty Mayron: Dude if another song comes on you gotta pause it okay?
Griff: Hey am I suppose to pause my emotions?

Movie: Daddy's Home
Brad Whitaker: You built all this today? With my tools?
Dusty Mayron: Oh, no, you can't build a treehouse with a tampon, Brad.

Movie: Daddy's Home
[first lines] Brad Whitaker: [narrating]Here's a question for you. What do kids need more, a father or a dad? What's the difference? The way I see it, darn near anyone can be a father... [video of copulating rhinos]
Brad Whitaker: ... but not everyone has the patience or the devotion to be a dad. As for me, I've always wanted to be a dad. Let me tell you, I love it! Yeah! [driving]
Brad Whitaker: And I love my Ford Flex. It treats me to a smooth ride, and you know what? It didn't break the bank. Room enough for the whole family. [making sandwiches in the kitchen]
Brad Whitaker: Yes, I love being a dad. And I love these two adorable little rays of sunshine. [Dylan and Megan walk in]

Movie: Daddy's Home