Dad Quotes

Hayley Smith: Ya know, Dad, it's great that you and your CIA buddies can come up with a fun new system to keep the masses paralyzed in fear!
Stanley Smith: Do you like shaving your armpits, Hayley? 'Cause when the terrorists take over this country, that's the first thing to go!

Movie: Dad
Stanley Smith: [Talking to Roger] You're the Adam Sandler of this house and nobody wants punch drunk love, just give us waterboy

Movie: Dad
Stanley Smith: [after the family is infected with a virus, Roger is making plans to redecorate the house] What makes you so sure you're going to survive?
Roger the Alien: Oh, my species is immune to all human ailments.
Stanley Smith: So explain that cold sore.
Roger the Alien: [shouts] Mind your own business!

Movie: Dad
[Roger must play a burn victim in front of Steve's crush]
Roger the Alien: I even watched the latest Meg Ryan movie where she played that burn victim.
Steve Smith: She never played a burn victim. [Steve walks off]
Roger the Alien: Oh, Meg, honey...

Movie: Dad
[Stan brings home a baby to replace Hayley when she moves out]
Roger the Alien: Is that a Chinese baby?
Stanley Smith: Sure is! Japanese, to be specific.

Movie: Dad
[Martin hands money to Simon]
Debbie Kelly: Dad, I need some too. I've got an appointment at the hairdresser's. [Martin exhales]
Martin Kelly: Dear. [Martin hands money to Debbie]
Debbie Kelly: Dad, that's only seven dollars.
Martin Kelly: That's what it costs me for a haircut.
Simon Kelly: Yes, and that's what it looks like.

Movie: Dad