Cops Quotes

Lt. Jake Stone: You arrested a waiter?

Norman Robberson: Jake, he was rude.

Lt. Jake Stone: Norman, you can't arrest people for being rude. If you could, all of New York City would be on Death Row.

TV Show: Cops
Luc Therrien: [in front of a mirror wearing mascot costume] Are you talkin' to me? Huh? Are you talkin' to me?
[Luc tries to leave the bathroom but runs head on into a wall]

TV Show: Cops
Melanie Roberts: Quite a night owl, aren't we?

TV Show: Cops
Miss Schlowski: Your teacher, Miss O'Hara, had to go somewhere.

Dominic: Where'd she go?

Miss Schlowski: That doesn't matter.

Lowell: Did she die?

Miss Schlowski: No, Lowell, she went to see someone.

Lowell: Did they die?

Miss Schlowski: *No*, Lowell.

Lowell: Everyone dies, you know.

TV Show: Cops
Miss Schlowski: Your teacher, Miss O'Hara, had to go somewhere.

Dominic: Where'd she go?

Miss Schlowski: That doesn't matter.

Lowell: Did she die?

Miss Schlowski: No, Lowell, she went to see someone.

Lowell: Did they die?

Miss Schlowski: *No*, Lowell.

Lowell: Everyone dies, you know.

TV Show: Cops
Pal Kenzy: I'm not very good on pool tables, sir.

Commander Griffin: I'm too much of a gentleman to make the obvious comment.

Pal Kenzy: But not to *think* it!

Commander Griffin: A man's thought's are his own.

Pal Kenzy: So long as he keeps them to himself!

TV Show: Cops
Paul Blart: [after showing a Loch Ness Monster tattoo on his lower back that he got while drunk] Yeah... I don't drink.

TV Show: Cops
Phoebe: You're not so tough without your car, are you?

TV Show: Cops
Police Chief Hubbard: What's this man doing here?

Axel Foley: Bleeding, sir.

TV Show: Cops
Purse Thief: [Devon is holding on to his leg] What are you going to do about this?

Nick: This? I'm going to kill this.

TV Show: Cops
Ray Donlan: I always liked you, Murray. You just sweat too much!

TV Show: Cops
Ray Donlan: What brings you to our fair city?

Moe Tilden: I heard there was a way of life out here. Thought I'd check it out for myself.

Ray Donlan: What are we, like the Amish now?

TV Show: Cops
Ray Donlan: You know the difference between men and boys? Boys bet everything on everything! Boys think every hand is a royal flush! You play cards with a man, he knows his limits.

TV Show: Cops
Ray Donlan: You're just a child, Freddie.

TV Show: Cops
Sally Noland: He knows! He knows! He knows I'm no good to him!

TV Show: Cops
Sean McKinney: I shot him before he shot me.

TV Show: Cops
Sergeant Taggart: We're more likely to believe an important local businessman than a foul-mouthed jerk from out of town.

Axel Foley: Foul-mouthed? **** you, man.

TV Show: Cops
Sheriff Freddy Heflin: How do you think this makes me look.

Ray Donlan: Go home and don't think so much.

TV Show: Cops
Veck Sims: When are you gonna give up, Blart?

Paul Blart: How about now? I'll meet you on the corner of "NE" and "VER"!

TV Show: Cops
Frank McCrae: Whole city's goin' to hell. You can't take a pee anywhere anymore.

TV Show: Cops
Gary "Figgsy" Figgis: I don't give a **** about your ****ing justice. Being right is not a bulletproof vest, Freddy.

TV Show: Cops
[after his first day, John comes back and collapses on his bed]

Phoebe O'Hara: How'd it go?

Detective John Kimble: Go away.

Phoebe O'Hara: That well, huh?

Detective John Kimble: You take over tomorrow.

Phoebe O'Hara: And blow our cover? Can't do it.

Detective John Kimble: They're horrible. They're like little terrorists.

Phoebe O'Hara: Tell me about it.

TV Show: Cops
[Being shot at]

Sergeant Taggart: Jesus Christ!

Axel Foley: Man, these guys are serious.

Detective Rosewood: I hate machine guns!

TV Show: Cops
[John Kimble sees boy eating out of lunch boxes]

Detective John Kimble: Are these all your lunches?
[Boy shakes his head]

Detective John Kimble: You mean you eat other people's lunches?
[Boy nods]

Detective John Kimble: STOP IT!

TV Show: Cops
[Luc, wearing the mascot costume, realizes his hands are too big to press the elevator button]

Luc Therrien: Goddammit...

TV Show: Cops
[O'Hara rushes to the airplane's restroom]

Stewardess: Is your wife okay, sir?

Detective John Kimble: Compared to what?

TV Show: Cops
[Rosewood runs a red light]

Sergeant Taggart: It's red! It's red!

Billy Rosewood: It's green!
[He hits another car]

Billy Rosewood: All right, it was red.

Axel Foley: It was yellow!

TV Show: Cops
[after his first day, John comes back and collapses on his bed]

Phoebe O'Hara: How'd it go?

Detective John Kimble: Go away.

Phoebe O'Hara: That well, huh?

Detective John Kimble: You take over tomorrow.

Phoebe O'Hara: And blow our cover? Can't do it.

Detective John Kimble: They're horrible. They're like little terrorists.

Phoebe O'Hara: Tell me about it.

TV Show: Cops
[Capone shoots a man dead while he's trying to reload his gun]

Capone: Read the manual, idiot.

TV Show: Cops
[from trailer]

Paul Blart: [talking to himself] What are you trained to do? Nothing...

TV Show: Cops