Batman and Harley Quinn Quotes

Harley Quinn: Harley Quinn reporting for duty, sir.
Batman: God help us.

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Poison Ivy: I thought you were my friend.
Harley Quinn: Friends don't let friends kill 7,000,000,000 people.

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Harley Quinn: You give 'em 20 minutes of naughty fun time and they think they own ya!

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Harley Quinn: [farts]
Nightwing: Ugh! Holy...
Batman: It's not so bad. It smells like... discipline.

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Harley Quinn: You think I'm just some dizzy airhead that don't know nothin'. Do you know what I am?
Batman: My punishment for dropping out of med school.

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Nightwing: The things I do for Gotham... [sleeps with Harley]

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Nightwing: Where's your BFF Poison Ivy?
Harley Quinn: I can help you find her, but you can put in a good word for me for the parole board.
Batman: Hmm. No.

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Harley Quinn: Look at you, Boy Wonder all grown up... [pause, then Harley leers]
Nightwing: Don't get any funny ideas...
Harley Quinn: Too late. [heads to Nightwing in her underwear]

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
[last lines] Harley Quinn: [on Floronic Man]He's just made of leaves, right? anybody got a match? [Batman and Nightwing prepare to set the Floronic Man on fire, and both kiss Harley]
Harley Quinn: [blushes]Aw shucks!

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Harley Quinn: [to Nightwing who she has strapped to her bed]Hey Nightwing is it true you used to be Robin? Huh ain't that a kick in the pants, little boy wonder all grown up? [thinks for a moment then smiles slyly]
Nightwing: Okay now don't be getting any funny ideas?
Harley Quinn: Too late! [turns off the lights]
Harley Quinn: It's funny I always kinda thought you and Batman didn't like girls.
Nightwing: Wait, what?
Harley Quinn: You know, that book with the headlights and eyeball gouging, I had to write a paper about it back in college, got a B minus [climbs into bed with him while in her bra and panties]
Nightwing: Look Harley I have a...
Harley Quinn: [interrupting him]Pretty lonely these last few months, if you know what I mean? You don't meet a lot of likely prospects at Super Babes, I'm kinda choosy
Nightwing: I'm not saying I don't want to, 'cuz that could be nice, all sorts of wrong but nice, right now I just really need to find Poison... [Harley cups her hand over his mouth]
Harley Quinn: Shhh, face it sugar I got something you want and you sure a shootin' have something I want, so be a good boy and maybe, maybe Mama will give you a cookie
Nightwing: The things I do for Gotham [smiles]
Harley Quinn: I'm taking that as a yes [kisses him]

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Floronic Man: [the scene jumps from Harley kissing Nightwing to Poison Ivy kissing Dr. Goldblum]That's disgusting, it's an abomination!
Poison Ivy: You think I like swapping spit with this geezer every six hours? If you got a better way to keep him under our control, I'm all ears
Floronic Man: There's always torture
Poison Ivy: I don't torture
Floronic Man: There's 7 billion meat bags who infest this world would probably consider our plans for them torture, or at least cruel and inhumane
Poison Ivy: Our plans are for the improvement of every organism on Earth, the very definition of humane
Floronic Man: [scoffs]Humane, what an ironic word coined by a species completely devoid of compassion for any other life forms or each other for that matter

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Nightwing: [after Batman finds him in bed with Harley Quinn]I was, uh, I was just about to call you. [Batman glances at the floor seeing a pile of Harley's clothes and underwear then sees that Nightwing had been strapped to the bed then gives him a dirty look]
Harley Quinn: [to Nightwing]Meet you at the car [walks away happily humming to herself]
Batman: Did you get what you needed?
Nightwing: [smiles while rubbing his head nervously]Well yeah... Ivy's whereabouts of course that's what you meant, no not yet [Batman leaves giving him a disappointed look]
Nightwing: Like you never made out with a super villain

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Poison Ivy: [about people]They all talk about climate change but have they actually changed anything?
Floronic Man: Indeed they have, they've doubled their outcome of greenhouse gasses, increased the rate of deforestation, ravaged the planet, you said it yourself Pamela and I quote: Humans simply will not give a crap unless we force them to. Well once our virus is activated every single person on this planet will have a vested interest in going green.

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
[Batman, Harley and Nightwing are face to face with a mob of henchmen] Rhino: You put a lotta our buddies in the slammer, Bat-fink! Only way you're gettin' outta here is in a black plastic bag with a zipper up the front!
Cat Burglar
2: A body bag!
Rhino: He knows what it is! [Batman finishes his milk, then takes off his utility belt and throws it on the ground]
Batman: OK, boys, let's dance! [Cut to outside. Sounds of a fight with Batman '66 style sound effects BREAK!, BLEED!, OW MY BALLS!]

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Harley Quinn: My God, Pammy. You haven't even tested it yet, have you? Have you? Batman said that if you get just one teensy-weensy thing wrong, you could wind up killing everything on the planet. Everything, Pammy! Plants, people, animals... everything.
Poison Ivy: It doesn't matter. Earth will die, anyway, if I don't act. [picks up a vial]
Poison Ivy: I'm sorry, Harley, but I have to roll these dice.
Harley Quinn: You're gonna make me do it, aren't you? Well, when this is all over, just remember... I gave you a chance.
Poison Ivy: [turns to Harley]What are you - no!
Harley Quinn: [pulls off her fool's cap and wipes off her face paint]That's right, sweetie. The nuclear option!
Poison Ivy: You promised me you'd never - [Harley looks up at Ivy with sad puppy dog eyes]
Poison Ivy: Harley, I'm warning you! [Tears begin to well in Harley's eyes]
Poison Ivy: Don't you dare! [Tears stream down Harley's face. Soon, Ivy begins to cry, tossing aside the vial and hugging Harley]
Poison Ivy: I hate you so much!
Harley Quinn: [hugs Ivy]Works every time. Phew!

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn
Nightwing: I'll give you ten bucks if you floor it and don't look back.

Movie: Batman and Harley Quinn