Bad Teacher Quotes
Russell Gettis: That was a nice thing you did for him.
Elizabeth Halsey: He was going through a difficult time.
Russell Gettis: I am going through a difficult time. May I have your panties?
Elizabeth Halsey: I'm not wearing any.
Elizabeth Halsey: He was going through a difficult time.
Russell Gettis: I am going through a difficult time. May I have your panties?
Elizabeth Halsey: I'm not wearing any.
Movie: Bad Teacher
Shawn: LeBron is a better rebounder and passer.
Russell Gettis: LeBron will never beat Jordan. Call me when LeBron has six championships.
Shawn: That's your only argument?
Russell Gettis: It's the only argument I need Shawn!
Russell Gettis: LeBron will never beat Jordan. Call me when LeBron has six championships.
Shawn: That's your only argument?
Russell Gettis: It's the only argument I need Shawn!
Movie: Bad Teacher
Lynn Davies: I love how his eyes sparkle.
Elizabeth Halsey: I want to sit on his face.
Elizabeth Halsey: I want to sit on his face.
Movie: Bad Teacher
Principal Wally Snur: I have received a call from Mark's dad saying the car wash was a success, and then I got a call from Chase's dad about the car wash being a great success, and then a call from Danni's dad saying we should have a car wash every weekend. So whatever she did, worked.
Movie: Bad Teacher
Elizabeth Halsey: Did you know I walked in on him trying to fuck his dog? Peanut butter everywhere.
Movie: Bad Teacher
Mark: If the younger generation doesn't get into opera, then, guess what? No more opera! An art form has died. If opera goes away, we're fucked!
Movie: Bad Teacher
Scott Delacorte: Hey, they don't make songs like this anymore, right?
Russell Gettis: Ya know, that's actually not true, Scott. I'm writing a song right now called 855824177 ext. 777.
Russell Gettis: Ya know, that's actually not true, Scott. I'm writing a song right now called 855824177 ext. 777.
Movie: Bad Teacher
[the police find Elizabeth's drug stash in Amy's desk]Amy Squirrel: Those aren't mine! That's not even my desk!
Elizabeth Halsey: [with fake sympathy]Don't worry, Amy. We'll get you the help you need.
Amy Squirrel: You MONSTER! [goes for Elizabeth, only to be dragged off by the police]
Elizabeth Halsey: [with fake sympathy]Don't worry, Amy. We'll get you the help you need.
Amy Squirrel: You MONSTER! [goes for Elizabeth, only to be dragged off by the police]
Movie: Bad Teacher
Amy Squirrel: [as she is being dragged away]You can check my urine! CHECK MY URINE! CHECK MY URINE!
Movie: Bad Teacher
Elizabeth Halsey: I tell you what I know. A kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29. that's what I know.
Movie: Bad Teacher
Russell Gettis: So i heard about the whole engagement thing. That blows.
Elizabeth Halsey: Did you know i walk in on him trying to fuck his dog. Peanut Butter everywhere.
Elizabeth Halsey: Did you know i walk in on him trying to fuck his dog. Peanut Butter everywhere.
Movie: Bad Teacher
Elizabeth Halsey: Look Carl, I know that you are a very busy man; so I'm just gonna get right down to it. I've been speaking to various [quick thinking pause]
Elizabeth Halsey: uh black citizens, who allege that you're test are biased toward white people and orientals.
Carl Halabi: Okay. Lemme tell you something right away. A... Orientals test better. B... every couple of years we get these cockamamie charges coming in from various parts of the state and - lemme duh-dat - You should hear the things that they call me! Racist. Faggatron. Faggy Hitler. Dick breath. Ok? But, I... am not a racist. I voted for Barack Obama. You can quote me on that.
Elizabeth Halsey: uh black citizens, who allege that you're test are biased toward white people and orientals.
Carl Halabi: Okay. Lemme tell you something right away. A... Orientals test better. B... every couple of years we get these cockamamie charges coming in from various parts of the state and - lemme duh-dat - You should hear the things that they call me! Racist. Faggatron. Faggy Hitler. Dick breath. Ok? But, I... am not a racist. I voted for Barack Obama. You can quote me on that.
Movie: Bad Teacher
Russell Gettis: Twilight, what did we talk about in class? Throw it through her, not at her.
Movie: Bad Teacher
Elizabeth Halsey: [takes bite out of an apple]I thought the teachers were supposed to get the apples.
Amy Squirrel: Well I think the students teach me at least as much as I teach them. That's just something I say sometimes.
Elizabeth Halsey: Stupid. [tosses apple at a recycle bin and misses]
Amy Squirrel: Well I think the students teach me at least as much as I teach them. That's just something I say sometimes.
Elizabeth Halsey: Stupid. [tosses apple at a recycle bin and misses]
Movie: Bad Teacher
Scott Delacorte: Oh, I'm dry humping the shit out of you.
Elizabeth Halsey: Oh yeah, dry fuck the fuck out of me, Scott!
Scott Delacorte: Just stop talking.
Elizabeth Halsey: Oh yeah, dry fuck the fuck out of me, Scott!
Scott Delacorte: Just stop talking.
Movie: Bad Teacher
Scott Delacorte: Thank you, Elizabeth, for listening.
Elizabeth Halsey: Scott, I want you to know you can talk to me about anything.
Scott Delacorte: Do you wanna fuck?
Elizabeth Halsey: Yes! But don't you have a girlfriend?
Elizabeth Halsey: Don't worry, I have the best solution.
Scott Delacorte: [Elizabeth and Scott start to dry hump each other in a hotel room]Your jeans feel so good against my jeans.
Elizabeth Halsey: Totally!
Scott Delacorte: Hey, your body feels so good.
Elizabeth Halsey: I need some water.
Scott Delacorte: I'm dry humping the shit out of you.
Elizabeth Halsey: Yeah, dry-fuck the fuck out of me, Scott!
Scott Delacorte: Just stop talking.
Scott Delacorte: I've been fantasizing about this ever since we got to Springfield.
Elizabeth Halsey: This? Me too.
Scott Delacorte: I'm close. Don't move. Here I go. Almost. Wait for it.
Scott Delacorte: Really close. Ready?
Elizabeth Halsey: Yeah. Come on baby, cum for me! Come on! Oh, yeah!
Scott Delacorte: Just stop talking! Oh, yeah. Almost there.
Elizabeth Halsey: [Scott cums on Elizabeth's back]Fuck! That was amazing! Well, I'm gonna get going. I don't want the kids to see me leaving your room.
Elizabeth Halsey: Scott, I want you to know you can talk to me about anything.
Scott Delacorte: Do you wanna fuck?
Elizabeth Halsey: Yes! But don't you have a girlfriend?
Elizabeth Halsey: Don't worry, I have the best solution.
Scott Delacorte: [Elizabeth and Scott start to dry hump each other in a hotel room]Your jeans feel so good against my jeans.
Elizabeth Halsey: Totally!
Scott Delacorte: Hey, your body feels so good.
Elizabeth Halsey: I need some water.
Scott Delacorte: I'm dry humping the shit out of you.
Elizabeth Halsey: Yeah, dry-fuck the fuck out of me, Scott!
Scott Delacorte: Just stop talking.
Scott Delacorte: I've been fantasizing about this ever since we got to Springfield.
Elizabeth Halsey: This? Me too.
Scott Delacorte: I'm close. Don't move. Here I go. Almost. Wait for it.
Scott Delacorte: Really close. Ready?
Elizabeth Halsey: Yeah. Come on baby, cum for me! Come on! Oh, yeah!
Scott Delacorte: Just stop talking! Oh, yeah. Almost there.
Elizabeth Halsey: [Scott cums on Elizabeth's back]Fuck! That was amazing! Well, I'm gonna get going. I don't want the kids to see me leaving your room.
Movie: Bad Teacher
School Secretary: [reading off desk sticker]Learning is fun-tastic.
Elizabeth Halsey: What'd you say to me?
Elizabeth Halsey: What'd you say to me?
Movie: Bad Teacher
Elizabeth Halsey: This was a warning. Next time, I don't call the principal. I call the cops
Movie: Bad Teacher
Elizabeth Halsey: For the record, there's a shitload of things that I hate about you, but I still, would've gotten married. Because I love you.
Mark: I'm gonna need the ring back.
Elizabeth Halsey: You sad little troll! I hope you and your hooker enjoy chlamydia together!
Mark: I'm gonna need the ring back.
Elizabeth Halsey: You sad little troll! I hope you and your hooker enjoy chlamydia together!
Movie: Bad Teacher