Bad Santa Quotes

Gin: Sweet Jews for Jesus!

Movie: Bad Santa
Kid: Candy corn?
Willie: Well they all can't be winners!

Movie: Bad Santa
Kid: Your beard's not real.
Willie: No ****!It was real, but I got sick and all the hair fell out.
Kid: How come?
Willie: I loved a woman who wasn't clean.
Kid: Mrs. Santa?
Willie: No it was her sister.

Movie: Bad Santa
Kid: Good night, Santa. Good night, Mrs. Santa's sister.

Movie: Bad Santa
Marcus: Oh, my. What a darling photo. Are you certain you only want this single? Additional photos come in handy as gifts for grandma and grandpa, or as a wonderful remembrance for friends. [photo of Santa looking down and young girl looking away]
Milwaukee Mom with Photo: Gee, you know what? This one, I think it's more than enough. Thanks. Merry Christmas...

Movie: Bad Santa
Willie: You can't drink worth ****.
Marcus: I weigh 92 pounds, you dick!

Movie: Bad Santa