Arsenic and Old Lace Quotes

Jonathan Brewster : [ to Dr. Einstein ] This is the home of my youth... As a boy, I couldn't wait to escape from this house. Now, I'm glad to escape back into it.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
[ repeated line ]
Teddy Brewster : Charge!

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Dr. Einstein : Alright, Mr. President, we go to Panama.
Teddy Brewster : Bully, bully! Follow me, General. It's down south, you know.
Dr. Einstein : [ hat falling across his eyes ] Well, Bon voyage!

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Mortimer Brewster : Even the cat's in on it!

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Mortimer Brewster : [ watching the fighting, lighting up a cigarette ] Go on - fight, fight. I don't care.
Mortimer Brewster : [ watching the police trying to bring down Jonathan with a shoe ] Oh, don't do that. It never works.
Mortimer Brewster : [ Jonathan collapses ] What do you know? it worked!

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Teddy Brewster : [ showing Einstein a photo ] This is the picture I was telling you about, General. Here we are, both of us. President Roosevelt and General Goefels. That's me, General, and that's you.
Dr. Einstein : My how I've changed.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Mortimer Brewster : [ to Dr Einstein ] Stop underplaying, I can't hear you!

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Teddy Brewster : [ after charging up the stairs ] Charge the blockhouse!
Reverend Harper : Blockhouse?
Aunt Abby : Yes. The stairs are always San Juan Hill.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Mortimer Brewster : [ to Mr. Gibbs ] You... Get out of here! D'ya wanna be poisoned? D'ya wanna be murdered? D'ya wanna be killed?

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Teddy Brewster : [ Mr. Witherspoon has just met Teddy and Teddy pulls Mortimer aside ] Is he trying to move into the White House before I've moved out?
Mortimer Brewster : Who?
Teddy Brewster : [ points to Mr. Witherspoon ] Taft!

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Mortimer Brewster : Now look, darling, how did he die?
Abby Brewster : Oh, Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive. The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it.
Mortimer Brewster : Well, how did the poison get in the wine?
Martha Brewster : Well, we put in wine because it's less noticeable. When it's in tea it has a distinct odor.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Jonathan Brewster : I'll get every one of you! I hate cops! I'll brain the first one that comes near me!

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
[ Mortimer has just been talking to his aunts but was interrupted by the phone ringing. He now hangs it up ]
Mortimer Brewster : Now, where was I? Twelve... *TWELVE*? [ He runs back to talk to his aunts again ]

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
[ to Mortimer on Teddy ]
Dr. Gilchrist : I've just been appointed Ambassador to Bolivia.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
[ first lines ]
Baseball Fan : I'll knock your block off, you big stiff! You're a bum!

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Photographer at Marriage License Office : Mr. Brewster?
Mortimer Brewster : Now, look... Goodbye, dear.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Teddy Brewster : Charge! Charge the blockhouse!

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Mortimer Brewster : [ to Aunt Abby and Aunt Martha ] Come here. I've got the two nicest Aunts in the world. Of course, you've got the nicest nephew in the world, too.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Mortimer Brewster : I saw a play last week, it had a character in it, reminded me of Jonathon.
Abby Brewster : Oh, really?
Mortimer Brewster : Yeah, a honey of a lunatic. One of those whodunits called "Murder Will Out".
Abby Brewster : Oh, dear!
Mortimer Brewster : Yeah, what a play. When the curtain goes up the first thing you see is a dead body. The next thing... [ opens the window seat and finds a dead body ]

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Martha Brewster : [ about the men they have poisoned ] Let me see, now. This is eleven, isn't it, Abby?
Abby Brewster : Oh, no, dear. This makes twelve.
Martha Brewster : Abby, dear. I think you're wrong. This one is only eleven.
Abby Brewster : No, dear, because I remember when Mr. Hoskins first came in, it occurred to me that he'd make just an even dozen.
Martha Brewster : But, Abby, dear. I really don't think you should count the first one.
Abby Brewster : Oh, I was counting the first one, and that makes it twelve.
Martha Brewster : It does? Well, she's probably right. Abby usually is. I get them mixed up sometimes.
Mortimer Brewster : Makes it twelve? Twelve.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Mr. Witherspoon : [ to himself ] Another Roosevelt? Oh, dear, dear.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Jonathan Brewster : [ to Aunt Abby and Aunt Martha ] Dr. Einstein and I need a place to sleep. You remember that, as a boy, I could be disagreeable. It would not be pleasant for any of us if... I don't have to go into details, do I?

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Teddy Brewster : [ to Aunt Abby and Aunt Martha ] General Goethals was very pleased. He said the canal was just the right size.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Mortimer Brewster : [ finding a second body in the window seat ] Ye, Gods! There's another one!

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Abby Brewster : [ to Mortimer about the body in the window seat ] Who can that be?

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Dr. Einstein : [ to Mortimer ] Look, when Johnny's in that mood, he's a madman! He's a maniac! And then things happen. Horrible things... [ draws finger across throat ]

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Jonathan Brewster : [ to Dr. Einstein ] To my dear dead brother.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Officer Patrick O'Hara : [ to Sgt. Brophy, about Jonathon ] Look at that puss. He looks like Boris Karloff.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Teddy Brewster : What news have you brought me?
Mortimer Brewster : Just this, Mr. President, the country is squarely behind you.
Teddy Brewster : Yes, I know.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace
Teddy Brewster : Gentlemen, what news have you brought me?
Police Sgt. Brophy : [ salutes ] Colonel, we have nothing to report.
Officer Patrick O'Hara : Huh? [ Brophy elbows him and he salutes also ]
Officer Patrick O'Hara : Oh, no! Absolutely nothing to report!
Teddy Brewster : Splendid. Thank you, gentlemen. At ease.

Movie: Arsenic and Old Lace