Ace Ventura - Pet Detective Quotes
Ace Ventura: WOW., Ray Finkle's house, I can't wait to meet him
Mr. Finkle: Ray ain't coming home
Ace Ventura: But your wife said you expect him home any minute
Mr. Finkle: She expects him home any minute, see the engine's running but there's nobody behind the wheel. Eight years ago our son escaped from Shady Acres Mental Hospital in Tampa, and they're still bugging us to pick up his stuff.
Mr. Finkle: Ray ain't coming home
Ace Ventura: But your wife said you expect him home any minute
Mr. Finkle: She expects him home any minute, see the engine's running but there's nobody behind the wheel. Eight years ago our son escaped from Shady Acres Mental Hospital in Tampa, and they're still bugging us to pick up his stuff.
Movie: Ace Ventura - Pet Detective
Lois Einhorn: You've done some fine detective work... 'Ace'.
Ace Ventura: I'm sorry. Could you please speak in to my good ear? I thought I heard you call me Ace.
Ace Ventura: I'm sorry. Could you please speak in to my good ear? I thought I heard you call me Ace.
Movie: Ace Ventura - Pet Detective
Lois Einhorn: [after she finishes wrestling with Ace, to the surrounding police officers] Shoot him! Shoot him!
Emilio: [offscreen] Hold your fire! [walks in with Melissa, gun to his head]
Emilio: Don't shoot!
Melissa: Put your guns down or this cop gets it. I mean it! [cocks revolver]
Emilio: She's not joking!
Lois Einhorn: [ignoring them] He kidnapped Snowflake! He killed Roger Podator and was going to kill Dan Marino and meeeeee!
Ace Ventura: Ho ho ho Hooooooooooooo! Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section a little more enlightening. For instance, if you were to look up the NFL's "All Time Bonehead Plays," you might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed the 26 yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVII. [takes deep breath]
Ace Ventura: What you wouldn't read about was how Ray Finkle lost his mind was committed to a mental hospital only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino for whom he blamed the entire thing! [takes another deep, relief breath]
Aguado: What the hell are you talking about?
Ace Ventura: SHE'S NOT LOIS EINHORN!, She's Ray Finkle, she's a man.
Lois Einhorn: He's lying. SHOOT HIIIIMMM!
Emilio: [offscreen] Hold your fire! [walks in with Melissa, gun to his head]
Emilio: Don't shoot!
Melissa: Put your guns down or this cop gets it. I mean it! [cocks revolver]
Emilio: She's not joking!
Lois Einhorn: [ignoring them] He kidnapped Snowflake! He killed Roger Podator and was going to kill Dan Marino and meeeeee!
Ace Ventura: Ho ho ho Hooooooooooooo! Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section a little more enlightening. For instance, if you were to look up the NFL's "All Time Bonehead Plays," you might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed the 26 yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVII. [takes deep breath]
Ace Ventura: What you wouldn't read about was how Ray Finkle lost his mind was committed to a mental hospital only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino for whom he blamed the entire thing! [takes another deep, relief breath]
Aguado: What the hell are you talking about?
Ace Ventura: SHE'S NOT LOIS EINHORN!, She's Ray Finkle, she's a man.
Lois Einhorn: He's lying. SHOOT HIIIIMMM!
Movie: Ace Ventura - Pet Detective
[Ace Ventura is trying to get his car started, while looking at somebody smashing it with a bat in his mirror]
Ace Ventura: Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear.
Ace Ventura: Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear.
Movie: Ace Ventura - Pet Detective
[Lt. Einhorn is pointing a gun at Ace's head]
Ace Ventura: [begging] Please don't kill me. I'll never tell anyone. Kill him, he's the one you want.
Dan Marino: No, no kill him.
Ace Ventura: No kill him. He held the ball wrong, remember? Come on, look at the guy. [Lt. Einhorne shoots into the air]
Dan Marino: Whimp.
Ace Ventura: Jock.
Dan Marino: Cry-baby.
Ace Ventura: Muscle-head.
Lois Einhorn: SHUT UP.
Ace Ventura: [begging] Please don't kill me. I'll never tell anyone. Kill him, he's the one you want.
Dan Marino: No, no kill him.
Ace Ventura: No kill him. He held the ball wrong, remember? Come on, look at the guy. [Lt. Einhorne shoots into the air]
Dan Marino: Whimp.
Ace Ventura: Jock.
Dan Marino: Cry-baby.
Ace Ventura: Muscle-head.
Lois Einhorn: SHUT UP.
Movie: Ace Ventura - Pet Detective