Accidental Incest Quotes

Irving Berlin: [title card]Lord Help the Mister that comes between Me and My Sister.

Movie: Accidental Incest
Milton: So I check into this dirtbag motel, where the owner's a really, really nice older lady. She treats me like my grandmother. She cooks for me; she lets me stay here for free; and she also appears to be over 100 years old. The only thing is, is that she has to perform oral sex on me once a week on Friday.
Landlady: [in a sing-song voice]It's Friday!

Movie: Accidental Incest
Sven: Ze Cartel! [pulls out a pistol]
Sven: They found me.
Kendra: What the fuck!
Sven: Oh, but zey'll never get me alive! Because I watch Pachino, and zey will have to deal with my friend, who is little.
Kendra: [incredulous]How... do you mess up that quote?

Movie: Accidental Incest
Kendra: So, I move into this dirtbag motel. Where the owner is such a sweet, older lady. She treats me like my father. She lets me watch free porn; gets me the best drugs; and sometimes late at night, she even sneaks into my bed to sleep next to me.
Landlady: Saturdays are pretty sweet, too.
Kendra: And okay, yeah, I make out with her when I need to. But that's neither here nor there. My name is Kendra Stevens, and I'm off to do some good.

Movie: Accidental Incest