100 Girls Quotes

Matthew: I've seen you around. You're a natural born hipster.
Crick: Natural born hipster?
Matthew: Yeah. The next evolution of a jock. You traded in your letterman jacket for a manicured goatee and a Eurotrash ponytail. You're the worst kind of cool. You're the kind of guy who wears male make-up. A real fashion plate. You're proof that those boy-toy doofuses in those men's magazines are all rump rangers.

Movie: 100 Girls
Matthew: Y'know, I wonder why God equipped women with all the weapons for seduction.
Rod: What do you mean?
Matthew: Well, take the breast for example. You have the bosom, the areola, the nipple. I mean, those are three concentric circles. In other words, it's a bullseye! It's no wonder the breast is the target for all men.
Rod: Wow. That's profound.
Matthew: And men are grotesque. I'm not just talking about the little habits we have... [Rod starts cleaning his ears with his car keys]
Matthew: ...like cleaning our ears with our car keys. I mean, we're grotesque to the core. I mean, look at the penis. The penis... it just looks like God had some left-over skin when he was making elbow, and He decided to slap it in our groin...
Rod: Hey, get that outta here! It freaks me out, ok?
Matthew: I mean, the penis is the first to shrivel when it's cold, it's the first to shrink in fear. The penis is a coward. It's a cowardly flap of left-over elbow flesh.
Rod: Maybe you wouldn't think that way if you had a little of my Penile Power, baby! [laughs]

Movie: 100 Girls
Matthew: It must have been the cloak of darkness concealing my usual romantic retardation, because that night, I was smart. I was funny. I was invincible.

Movie: 100 Girls
Matthew: In the morning she was gone. I had to find her.

Movie: 100 Girls
Matthew: Men have this anti-intimacy force field around them. It is powered by sarcasm, humor, and aversion.

Movie: 100 Girls
Rod: So what are you gonna do about this girl, huh?
Matthew: You know what, she left these [handing Rod a pair of panties]
Rod: Let me see them. [sniffs]
Rod: I don't recognize this one.
Matthew: Hey, give them back.

Movie: 100 Girls