Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Mark Twain quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Mark Twain. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. Politics

By Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it

By Mark Twain
If they had not landed there would be some reason for celebrating the fact.

By Mark Twain
If He Tom Sawyer had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

By Mark Twain
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.

By Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. Patriotism

By Mark Twain
If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people.

By Mark Twain
Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.

By Mark Twain
My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.

By Mark Twain
Temperate temperance is best; intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.

By Mark Twain
His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

By Mark Twain
I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.

By Mark Twain
That's what an army is -- a mob; they don't fight with courage that's born in them, but with courage that's borrowed from their mass, and from their officers.

By Mark Twain
There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here.

By Mark Twain
The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nation, and from the mass of the nation only -- not from its privileged classes.

By Mark Twain
The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.

By Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Life

By Mark Twain
Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching.

By Mark Twain
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Life

By Mark Twain
Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon

By Mark Twain
Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.

By Mark Twain
The human race has but one really affective weapon, and that is laughter.

By Mark Twain
Never try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time, and you annoy the pig.

By Mark Twain
Suppose you were a Congressman. Suppose you were an idiot. But I repeat myself.

By Mark Twain
In certain circumstances, desperate circumstances, urgent circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

By Mark Twain
There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!

By Mark Twain
Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.

By Mark Twain
A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.

By Mark Twain
To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.

By Mark Twain
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read.

By Mark Twain