Mark Twain Quotes
Mark Twain Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Mark Twain quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Mark Twain. Share these quotations with your friends and family.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Sports
By Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Society
By Mark Twain
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged only in private--- though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh.
By Mark Twain
The Pause; that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, however so felicitous, could accomplish it.
By Mark Twain
A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
By Mark Twain
All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised.
By Mark Twain
The ordinary reverence, the reverence defined and explained by the dictionary, costs nothing. Reverence for one's own sacred things--parents, religion, flag, laws and respect for one's own beliefs--these are feelings which we cannot even help. They come natural to us; they are involuntary, like breathing. There is no personal merit in breathing. But the reverence which is difficult, and which has personal merit in it, is the respect which you pay, without compulsion, to the political or religious attitude of a man whose beliefs are not yours. You can't revere his gods or his politics, and no one expects you to do that, but you could respect his belief in them if you tried hard enough; and you could respect him, too, if you tried hard enough. But it is very, very difficult; it is next to impossible, and so we hardly ever try. If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean it does nowadays, because we can't burn him.
By Mark Twain
The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little by way of example.
By Mark Twain
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
By Mark Twain
Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
By Mark Twain
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven.
By Mark Twain
By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.
By Mark Twain
The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction.
By Mark Twain
Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
By Mark Twain
There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me--I always feel that they have not said enough.
By Mark Twain
More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.
By Mark Twain
Who prays for Satan? Who, in 1,800 years, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
By Mark Twain
When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a temporary fool of him besides, what excuse are you going to offer for preaching it, teaching it, extending it, perpetuating it? Shall you say, the best good of the country demands allegiance to party? Shall you also say it demands that a man kick his truth and his conscience into the gutter, and become a mouthing lunatic, besides?
By Mark Twain