Groucho Marx Quotes

Groucho Marx Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Groucho Marx quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Groucho Marx. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

An amateur thinks it's really funny if you dress a man up as an old lady, put him in a wheelchair, and give the wheelchair a push that sends it spinning down a slope towards a stone wall. For a pro, it's got to be a real old lady.
By Groucho Marx
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I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.
By Groucho Marx
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Jag har ett mål. Du har ett mål. Nu måste vi hitta ett fotbollslag.
By Groucho Marx
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Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
By Groucho Marx
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
By Groucho Marx
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
By Groucho Marx
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
By Groucho Marx
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I've had a wonderfull evening, but this wasn't it.
By Groucho Marx
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Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
By Groucho Marx
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I refuse to join any club that would have me for a member.
By Groucho Marx
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
By Groucho Marx
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
By Groucho Marx
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My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
By Groucho Marx
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Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
By Groucho Marx
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We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know.
By Groucho Marx
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You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.
By Groucho Marx
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You are only as old as the woman you feel.
By Groucho Marx
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication.
By Groucho Marx
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Women should be obscene and not heard
By Groucho Marx
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Women should be obscene and not heard.
By Groucho Marx
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
By Groucho Marx
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Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?
By Groucho Marx
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Whatever it is, I'm against it.
By Groucho Marx
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Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
By Groucho Marx
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
By Groucho Marx
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house
By Groucho Marx
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She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
By Groucho Marx
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
By Groucho Marx
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Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
By Groucho Marx
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted
By Groucho Marx
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