You Cant Do That on Television Quotes

Adam: Hey Ross. Whats with the flag?
Ross: Well you know what kids? I've just decided that communism ain't so bad after all.
Alanis: And you made us wear these tacky helmets and then you become a communist.
Adam: Now cool it conrad,this is just the introductsky
Adam, Ross, Alanis, Stephanie, Chris, Matthew: to the oppositesovich.

Movie: You Cant Do That on Television
Announcer: You can't do that on television has been a Name that tune production, I can name that tune in one note way way off key [chuckles]
Announcer: Hmmmm?

Movie: You Cant Do That on Television
Jody: Hey Doug.
Doug: Yes Jody
Jody: Why did you get your hair cut?
Doug: They told me that I looked like Vanessa.
Jody: Well, she got her hair cut so I can say that you still look like Vanessa.
Doug: You said it Jody and now you're gonna regret it.
Jody: [Doug gets out of his locker and goes into Jody's locker] Hey I was just kidding! [Sound of punches landing]

Movie: You Cant Do That on Television
Mr. Shidler: Now class, as we are going on a field trip, it's most important we know the basics of nature. Can anyone tell me, what are the four natural elements of the universe? [Lisa raises her hand]
Mr. Shidler: Lisa?
Lisa: Earth.
Mr. Shidler: Right. That's one. Um, Kevin?
Kevin: Uh, air.
Mr. Shidler: That's right. That's two. Uh, Christine?
Christine: Um, fire!
Mr. Shidler: Right. And now, Vanessa. Can you tell me what the fourth element is?
Vanessa: Yeah, but I'm not going to.
Mr. Shidler: Well, Vanessa, either you tell me what the fourth element is, or you tell me you don't know.
Vanessa: Well, either way, I get something dumped on me. [Gives in]
Vanessa: Okay, water. [And you know the rest]
Mr. Shidler: Oh, it's moments like these that make teaching worthwhile.

Movie: You Cant Do That on Television
Valarie: [Valerie and Lance are sitting at the dining room table, Lance drinking a glass of scotch with the bottle next to him] Lance, I really think you're exaggerating. My mother doesn't hate you, dear.
Lance: That's what you think.
Valarie: Well Lance, if she hated you, she wouldn't have brought you that lovely bottle of scotch back from her trip to Inverness.
Lance: Oh I admit that the bottle of scotch was very nice. I admit that, but it's what she brought Alasdair that proves she hates me!
Valarie: [At that, Alasdar comes into the room playing a set of bagpipes badly, then grabs Lance's glass of scotch and leaves] You know, you may have a point there, dear.

Movie: You Cant Do That on Television