You Can't Do That on Television Quote
(Doug, the paperboy, walks up to the Preverts' front step to collect his fee. Mr. and Mrs. Prevert, who have spots all over their faces, are holding a sign that says "QUARANTINE.")
Mrs. Prevert: Oh, keep away, little boy! It isn't safe!
Doug: What is this?!
Mrs. Prevert: Oh, young man, we're under quarantine, can't you see? You have to stay away.
Doug: Listen lady, I don't care if you're under quarantine. I've come to get the money for the paper, and I'm gonna get it, you know.
Mr. Prevert: Hey kid, we'd love to pay ya. Can't you read, we're under quarantine! We have got "spotted faaaaaaaceatosis"! You catch it and you die! I'm sorry!
Doug: (scared) Oh, well that's okay then. Maybe I'll come back next week, and - and - and I'll get my money then, okay? (runs off quickly, leaving his bag of papers behind)
Mr./Mrs. Prevert: Bye!
Mr. Prevert: Nice boy.
Mrs. Prevert: Oh Lance, this quarantine idea of yours is sheer genius! (begins to rub some of the spots off her face, revealing the spots to be only ink) Ever since we pretended we had "spotted faceatosis," well, we've saved all kinds of money! My goodness, we haven't had to pay the milkman, the vacuum cleaner repairman, the car salesman, it's wonderful. You're a genius.
Mr. Prevert: Genius? Valerie, I really have got spotted faaaaaceatosis. I think you've got it too.
Mrs. Prevert: What?
Mr. Prevert: (pointing to a spot on Valerie's nose) That one ain't gonna come off.
Mrs. Prevert: Oh, keep away, little boy! It isn't safe!
Doug: What is this?!
Mrs. Prevert: Oh, young man, we're under quarantine, can't you see? You have to stay away.
Doug: Listen lady, I don't care if you're under quarantine. I've come to get the money for the paper, and I'm gonna get it, you know.
Mr. Prevert: Hey kid, we'd love to pay ya. Can't you read, we're under quarantine! We have got "spotted faaaaaaaceatosis"! You catch it and you die! I'm sorry!
Doug: (scared) Oh, well that's okay then. Maybe I'll come back next week, and - and - and I'll get my money then, okay? (runs off quickly, leaving his bag of papers behind)
Mr./Mrs. Prevert: Bye!
Mr. Prevert: Nice boy.
Mrs. Prevert: Oh Lance, this quarantine idea of yours is sheer genius! (begins to rub some of the spots off her face, revealing the spots to be only ink) Ever since we pretended we had "spotted faceatosis," well, we've saved all kinds of money! My goodness, we haven't had to pay the milkman, the vacuum cleaner repairman, the car salesman, it's wonderful. You're a genius.
Mr. Prevert: Genius? Valerie, I really have got spotted faaaaaceatosis. I think you've got it too.
Mrs. Prevert: What?
Mr. Prevert: (pointing to a spot on Valerie's nose) That one ain't gonna come off.
TV Show: You Can't Do That on Television
